Page 14 of Sugar

Piper’s chest was warm with affection. “Maddox. And he is. He’s perfect for my brother, which helps me sleep easier. My brother and I were butting heads by the time he met Mads. He thinks I’m too overprotective.”

“Is he right?” Juno asked.

Piper snorted. “Yeah, he is. It’s something I was working on before he left. I always knew he was a fully capable adult who could take care of himself, but it was hard not to look at him as this chubby-faced toddler who could only sleep if I wrapped him tightly in a blanket burrito and hummed ‘The Imperial March’ until my voice went hoarse.”

Juno stared at him for a long moment, then let out a small puff of air. “You really love him.”

“He’s my brother,” Piper said, because there were no other words to explain it. He knew that not all siblings felt like that, but he’d been in the position to take care of Phoenix in ways that most older brothers hadn’t needed to. A lot of people like him got bitter. They resented being parentified.

Piper just embraced it. And now, he was letting go. His coworker called it empty nest syndrome, and he knew that was probably right. But it really was getting easier by the day. And having Juno in his lap like this almost let him forget how profoundly alone he felt when he was sitting in his townhouse without another person with him.

Juno smiled softly, his eyes fluttering shut. “I hope I can meet him one day.”

Piper hoped that too, but he didn’t say it. He’d never introduce anyone to Phoenix who wasn’t going to be around for longer. He just couldn’t cross that line, and he had no idea what any of this meant to Juno. “And your family…”

“I don’t have any,” Juno said swiftly. “After I went into foster care, no one ever claimed me.” He rolled onto his side, and Piper could see his lashes fluttering open. “My parents were junkies, my grandma died when I was two. I have two foster brothers who I’m still close to, though.”

“Do they know about this?” Piper touched the space between Juno’s eyes.

Juno swallowed heavily, then shook his head. “No. The last time I saw them, Oliver was getting married, and Miles was dealing with the end of a really shitty relationship. My symptoms had just started, and I hadn’t been to the doctor yet. I was still hoping it would clear up on its own, and I didn’t want to dump all that on them.”

“Will you call them soon?”

Juno looked torn. “I want to, but I feel like I need to deal with how I feel first. Both of them will hit pause on their own lives and try to fix the problem which is not going to help. I love them, but trust me when I say I understand siblings being too overprotective.”

Piper wanted to say that Juno deserved that kind of love and care, but he also understood why he’d kept it to himself. Piper would have done the same thing. He’d kept his heart a secret from Phoenix until he’d collapsed.

The only problem was Phoenix still hadn’t quite forgiven him for that, and he didn’t want Juno to suffer the same thing.

“You should tell them before they find out from someone else.”

Juno laughed quietly. “I don’t know anyone else, so unless you want to Facebook stalk them, they’re never going to figure it out.” He paused, then said, “The truth is, I don’t know how to tell them. How do you break the news to someone that you’re losing your sight?”

Piper had no advice for that. Telling someone you had a heart condition was different than telling someone you were going blind. People expected his body to be falling apart as he approached fifty.

Blindness at Juno’s age was a whole different thing.

Hell, it had shaken Piper to his core and he’d only just met Juno. He could only imagine how his brothers would feel.

“I know I’m being silly. One of my brothers, Miles, he’s deaf. He wears implants, and he doesn’t sign, but he’d get it, you know? But every time I think of their faces and all that pity in their eyes, I just…” He curled into himself, and Piper rubbed a hand up and down his spine until his muscles unclenched. “It makes me feel like I want to scream. Or cry. Or…I don’t know, throw up all over my shoes. Maybe if I had it all figured out and I was well adjusted, it would be different. Then I could tell them, yeah, I’m going blind, but it’s no big deal. I already read braille, and I’ve totally mastered a cane. But I’m just out here floating in a sea of denial, so how can I make them feel better when I’m still drowning?”

Piper said nothing. There were no words to soothe his pain and fear, so instead, he just dragged his fingers in absent patterns along his back and down his arms until his breathing evened out.

Just when Piper thought he was asleep again, Juno took a deep breath. “I keep thinking I should make a bucket list.”

“Like…for when you die?”

“For when, you know, it happens. I don’t want to wait around to see if my right eye is going to go. My left eye lost sight so fast. I went from a hazy spot in the center to not being able to see jack shit in the span of two weeks. And it’s still getting worse.” Juno rubbed a hand down his face. “I think the thing that scares me most is not jumping at the chance to do something while I can and then regretting it for the rest of my life.”

Piper understood that too. “How long do you have?”

“Anywhere from a few weeks to a few months,” Juno said. “There’s no predicting when it’ll happen. Or if it’ll happen.”

Piper was getting an idea. He was getting many, many ideas. His chest sparked with a sort of bright anticipation he hadn’t felt in years. He licked his lips and chose his words carefully. “What would you choose if you could go somewhere? Realistically. Don’t say the moon.”

Juno laughed. “Fine. What about Jupiter.”

“Sugar,” Piper warned.

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