Page 13 of Sugar

“One of my old albums,” Piper said. He traced his finger over the cover before opening it. “I used to take photos a lot. We all had cameras on the ISS. I was afraid I’d forget what it was like up there,” he admitted.

Juno hummed softly as he moved his hands so Piper could turn to the first page. The first shot was Phoenix with a tiny smile in a warehouse. Above him was a massive side of a rocket that eventually was going to launch Piper into space. Phoenix hadn’t been more than seven in that shot. Still living with their parents.

“My brother,” Piper said.

“He looks like you.”

Piper sighed. “Yeah, he does. A few weeks after this, he had a meltdown because someone at school told him about the Challenger, and he thought I was going to blow up.”

“What the fuck?” Juno asked.

Piper rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “He got bullied a lot. It was easy to upset him, and kids used to make a game out of it.”

Juno sat up partway and twisted to look at Piper. “Did you beat those assholes up?”

Piper chuckled and brushed his thumb over Juno’s lower lip. “I was a lot older. I would have gone to jail, and that wouldn’t have done him any good.”

Juno grunted and settled back down in Piper’s lap. “Might’ve been worth it. I got suspended a lot for hitting kids who were mean.”

Piper had no problems picturing a tiny, fiery Juno throwing hands at dickheads who thought being cruel was funny. He still had that fire now, and it was one of the things Piper liked most about him. “I wish you two had known each other. I think you would have been amazing friends.”

Juno smiled, looking a little like maybe he didn’t believe Piper, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he flipped through more pages of the book—most of them Polaroids he’d shot of the inside of the ISS and a few long-range film he’d done of Earth, the moon, and stars.

Juno traced them with the tip of his finger, laughing at a few shots that Piper had taken of himself and his colleagues. “You looked like you were having fun.”

“I was. It was hard too,” Piper admitted. “I felt like shit more days than I felt well. It messes with your whole system, and the moment you get used to it, you’re going back home. Then you’re stuck readjusting to Earth’s gravity, which is a whole other mess of issues. And it got harder and harder to recover every time I went up.”

Juno glanced up at him, reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. “Was it your heart that stopped you from doing it again?”

“Amongst other things,” Piper admitted. “I think mostly I was just tired. I wanted something else in life. I just didn’t know what yet. But I was luckier than a lot of people. I got to fulfill part of a dream that most people never do.”

Juno’s eyes went wide and bright. “Did you ever go to the moon?”

Piper laughed. “No, sugar. There were no moon missions while I was active.”

“But we’ve definitely been to the moon, right? Like, as a collective people.”

Piper raised a brow at him. “There’s no conspiracy. The shadows aren’t off.”

Juno giggled and flipped a few more pages. “Would you go back one more time if you had the chance? Like…say they had a moon mission and called you to go. Bucket-list shit, you know?”

It was a difficult question. The easy answer was yes because it was something he’d always wanted, but the harder, more truthful answer was no. He was getting old. He was tired. He liked having gravity pinning him to Earth. He wished he could have done more—gone farther—but he was satisfied with his life.

Now, he wanted new adventures. Careful, tender ones with kisses like the ones Juno had given him.

“Sorry,” Juno said, “is that question off-limits?”

“It’s not. I loved what I did. I went into astrophysics when I first started school, but I always wanted to go to space. So when I had the chance, I took it, and I have no regrets about that—even if it put a strain on my body I wasn’t prepared for. It changed my trajectory in life, I think. God only knows where I’d be right now if I’d gone into academics or research before taking the opportunity to go up. But…” He trailed off with a sigh.

“But?” Juno pressed.

Piper looked down at him and traced his eyebrow with a careful touch. “I think if I was given the choice between going up and taking the risk or staying here with the people I care about”—you, he added silently, afraid to say it aloud because he didn’t want to scare him off—“I’d keep my feet firmly on Earth’s soil.”

Juno smiled softly like he knew what Piper had wanted to say, and he closed his eyes. He shut the book, then reached up and put his hand back on Piper’s face, stroking his rough stubble with the edge of his thumb. “What does your brother do?”

“He used to be a tour guide at the space center where I worked, but since they moved, he’s exploring his interests and figuring out what he wants to do long-term. His boyfriend is a veterinarian and runs his own practice, so he offered to support Nix while he’s testing things out.”

“He sounds like a good guy. The boyfriend,” Juno clarified.

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