Page 6 of Meet Me in the Stars

I glanced at the sports drink he handed me.

“Are we going for a run I don’t know about?” I arched a brow.

“You’re probably dehydrated,” Teddy said.

“Probably,” I shrugged and popped one of the fancy pigs into my mouth.

I didn’t taste much of what I ate or drank to placate the kids. My appetite wasn’t anywhere to be found. My dragon was mostly out cold occasionally lifting his head only to remember Lotus was gone. Then he’d go right back out. Sleep or burning down London. I sighed, hoping London had more luck than I thought I had control over my inner beast.

When the attorney arrived with his spectacles low on his nose making his eyes look wonky everyone gathered around. Duke offered his seat to both Sequin and Daliah in turn, but neither of them took it. They sat behind us grateful not to have Teddy crying on them for a while. I couldn’t make sense of the chatter from the back of the room as the attorney set up the video to play. I grabbed Teddy’s hand the way I did when he was a little boy. I didn’t have the words to tell him that somehow, we’d be okay because that’s what she’d have wanted. How could I tell him that he’d ever be okay again?

Duke took my hand, and I swallowed a laugh. Our worry was circling around us. Behind us, next to the other egg brats, Lee and Bane sat hand-in-hand. Blake was back there too on Lee’s other side. He’d helped me into my suit this morning after sneaking me out for a cigarette. Rumors had flown for years that Blake and I were still shacking up, but none of it was true. Blake and I had been together one time – exactly enough to unknowingly conceive Duke. Everything after that was co-parenting, but we managed to become friends along the way.

I looked around for Jonah Darnell. I once fought him while Blake was in a vampyric coma. Well, mostly I fought an elf but he got in the way. I hated him for the longest time because Duke took right to him as a kid. Now, I tolerated him pretty well. He wasn’t my favorite person, but I’d take a bullet for him for Duke’s sake. Bane once shot him with a tranquilizer arrow that was meant for me. I laughed. I couldn’t help it. One moment I was remembering and the next I was laughing so hard that everything inside me shook. Lotus would’ve given me the dirtiest look for laughing about that, but fucking Frost on the mountain.

“We were young,” Jonah’s voice came from nearby Duke.

He was squatted down on the other side of his chair.

“Someone bring the Howler a Frost-damned chair,” I roared, trying to quit laughing.

“Those were the days,” Jonah nodded.

“What are you two talking about?” Teddy asked.

“I’ll tell you the story later, kiddo,” I said, managing to gather the tattered ends of my wits as one of the staff the Cromwells hired to set up brought over another armchair for Jonah.

The wolf opened his mouth to tell me he would’ve been fine, but I shook my head. My wife was dead. If I wanted someone to have a chair a member of the very well-paid staff could bring a bloody fucking chair.

“Thanks,” Jonah nodded to me instead and wrapped an arm around Duke’s shoulders.

The lights went out and what was left of my laughter died in my throat. Despite the attorney emailing me a copy of the video, I hadn’t watched it yet. Lotus always spoke her mind and from beyond the door of life and death she’d be no different. Whatever she had to say deserved to be heard without me or anyone else editing it and chopping it up.

Both of my sons tightened their grip on my hands, and I let out a long, slow breath as the screen lit up. Lotus was seated on the swinging chair on our balcony. The one where I smoked. The one where I wished I was still smoking. A light breeze played at the ends of her blonde hair. I wanted to reach out and touch them. Instead, I kept ahold of my kids as if death might steal them away too.

“Hey,” Lotus said, squinting on the screen to make sure the camera was recording. “Hey,” she said again more certain of herself this time. “I guess if you’re watching this I’m not around anymore. I hope that I got to say everything to all of you that I needed to. If things go according to my plans, you’ll be in comfy chairs with full bellies as you watch this. I have so much to say, but don’t want to make a two-hour movie for sad people to sit through. Is it pompous to think you’ll be sad that I’m gone? Maybe. I don’t know.”

She frowned for a minute and behind me someone sobbed. Lee or Blake, I couldn’t tell which one.

“If my plans were followed, none of the press or anyone outside of our family is with you right now. So now talking about how I was the one who ultimately took Grady Moore down. I know that’s what so many people think about when they hear my name. I didn’t take him down. That was a wolf pack. All I did was help someone who needed it and that someone became a very good friend of mine. That someone became family. Freddie, if it’s not already out, don’t let them mention that in my obituary, not in the way they always talk about it.”

“You heard her,” I said, not bothering to glance around the room.

Another sob came from behind me.

“Okay, now that I have that out of the way, thank you for coming here today. Thank you for taking time to sit down and listen to what I have to say. I think I have a lot to say, but we’ll see how much will actually come out. I know you all think I’m always put together, but I’m not. I’m terrified right now.”

She held up a trembling hand I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the ball of fire still trapped in my throat.

“I’m not afraid of dying. Not the actual dying. I’m afraid of leaving you guys behind. If you’re watching this, I’ve faced my greatest fear and can only hope I did it with dignity. I’ve been sick since I was born. Vulpine degenerative disease is genetic. It was just waiting for its chance to get me. Thankfully, my egg brats have all tested negative.”

She stopped and glanced at her lap. I could see the index card laying there on her purple sundress covered thighs in my mind’s eye. She had index cards for everything.

“Before I move onto individual messages, I want to address a rumor that we should’ve addressed years ago. My husband and mate has never cheated on me. I could explain all the ins and outs of our relationship, but some things are just for us. Early in our relationship we tried ethical nonmonogamy. An open relationship if you will. I wanted to explore the world and we tried it out. Hell, maybe we’d still be doing it if I didn’t get sick. Everyone assumed Freddie started staying home to prove his fidelity. He let them believe that because I didn’t want every day of my life overshadowed by my disease. We only closed the relationship to come together to face the future of my illness head on. So, I don’t want to hear one more word about Freddie running around on me. Not that it was anyone’s business to begin with.”

I felt Duke’s eyes on me. I would’ve told him eventually. I wasn’t sure how much of the rumors he believed to start with, but his scent said he believed a lot of them.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” he chimed into my thoughts over the family link.

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