Page 70 of Tempt Me

“But you kept your dick dry while you waited for Hunter.”

“Because any other woman would be a poor substitute.”

Indigo immediately blurts out, “Bear didn’t wait for Natasha.”

“He did for the first year. When it didn’t seem like she was coming back, he gave up.”

“I’d wait forever for Siobhan,” Indigo mutters. “It’s not that hard.”

“Have you had sex before?” I ask, having talked around that question for many years.

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Back in the hills.”

“With one of those weirdo women from the Pound?” I ask, thinking of the Hills Chapter’s clubhouse.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Was it gross?”

“It was fine.”

“Well, I’ll share something with you that I won’t tell anyone else. Not even Hunter.”

Indigo gives me a curious glance. “Is it about fucking?”

“No, it’s about waiting. I find myself wishing I had gone to Hunter years ago and put everything on the line. Told her how she was the only woman I wanted. How I would wait, but I thought we should give the magic between us a try. I was afraid she’d tell me to fuck off for real, so I held back. I pretended being her friend was enough. Now, I see how much she was into me all this time. We could have made the connection way earlier. I was a fucking idiot for not saying the words.”

“But you wanted to hold onto the dream longer.”

“Yes, and Hunter has a lot of qualities that made me doubt I was good enough for her. She’s beautiful, rich, and educated. She’s got all these hobbies. None of that fits me, and I figured she knew that, too.”

“It was probably smart not to be honest. She might have just pushed you away. Then, when this crazy shit happened, you wouldn’t have been around to save her.”

“I would have still been around, though. Even if she had said no again, I’d have planted a seed in her head. She’d have heard how special she was to me. When she was lonely, she’d question why she wouldn’t give me a shot. I was the real deal. I loved her. She was missing out. But, yeah, I was afraid to get another rejection.”

“I figured she already knew all that stuff about how you felt.”

“When she said we couldn’t date because my life was too dangerous, I tried to blow off her rejection like it was all good. No worries. Didn’t bother me. I planted the seed in her head that what we had wasn’t serious,” I explain and reach over to pat Sleepy’s back. “If you were to ask Siobhan out for dinner, she might say yes. You could take her to the steakhouse where she got stood up because we scared off the guy.”

“She’d probably only agree because she thinks of me as family.”

“You’d need to make sure she knew it was a date.”

“Then, she’d probably just say no.”

“Sure, she might say that at first. Because she’s used to thinking of you as one of her foster brothers. But the seed will be planted. Then, whenever she saw you around, she’d be thinking about you as a man rather than as her foster brother. When you were nice to her, it would mean more because she’d be aware of you in a different way. That seed could grow into her wanting you, too. But right now, she hasn’t got a clue.”

“No, she doesn’t,” he mutters.

When Indigo looks around, seeming edgy about making specific plans, I point out, “There’s not much you can do until this shit with the stalker is settled and we can travel into town again.”

Exhaling hard, Indigo closes his eyes and shuts down. I’ve hit him with too much emotional baggage at one time. I still sit with him for another twenty minutes. He opens his eyes occasionally and asks a question about where I’ll live or if Hunter wants a baby. Once I answer, he closes his eyes and ignores the world.

Eventually, Hunter texts to say she misses me. I like how she craves my attention. Once we’re off the farm, Hunter will have enough to keep her busy. For now, I want her to focus on me.

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