Page 30 of Unforgivable Fate

Slowly she dragged herself up from the ground and plodded into the house. She headed straight to her bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as it would go. While she waited for the steam to build she dropped her old clothes into the laundry bin and found a pair of comfy underwear and a t-shirt she liked to sleep in. She tossed them on the bathroom counter and then wrapped her locs in a shower cap to keep them dry. After staring at herself in the mirror for another long minute, trying to decide if she looked any older or more mature than she felt, she gave in and climbed into the shower stall, letting the hot water beat against her skin until she went comfortably numb.

She stood that way for a long time, letting the water wash away the dirt and grime from her run in the woods but also just letting her mind go empty. She focused only on the basic necessities of washing. She rubbed body-wash onto a loofah and scrubbed until her skin flushed red.

She had always been the lightest skinned of her siblings and she’d hated it as a child. She hadn’t understood as a kid why some people were darker than others, namely her. She remembered her sweet mother sitting her down to explain that there was nothing wrong with any skin color, even if some people decided to treat a person differently because of it. The Crescent Pack had black and brown and white skin-toned people but they were all shifters, all Crescent wolves, all family.

Nova’s own family was mixed, as so many within the pack were after centuries of matings. Her mother and father had both been brown but they too had been one darker and one lighter and they’d explained that each of their children was unique and their skin colors were just further proof of that. Nova had tried to explain in return that she didn’t care what color anyone else was, she just wanted to be dark enough that when she blushed it didn’t show, which had made her mother laugh.

Now, as she rinsed the soap from her body and put her razor back on its magnetic hook, her mind drifted to someone else with skin darker than her own. Griffin. He was handsome, there was no denying that. With his warm, umber skin stretching over muscles that were well-defined she wanted to see more of him, to see all of him, to touch him and stroke her hands over his skin. With a groan of despair she flipped the water to cold and then off, snatching her towel off the hook and quickly drying herself.

It didn’t matter what she did. She couldn’t get him out of her head. He was constantly there. Slipping in even when she was actively trying not to think about him. Even when the things she was thinking had nothing to do with him.

Nova switched out her shower cap for a silk turban and then pulled on her underwear and t-shirt. Despite the fact the sun had only just gone done and it was early, she crawled into bed. She checked her phone, ignoring messages from her sisters telling her that they were available if she wanted to talk. She had a message from Leo asking her to come back by the house tomorrow to go over some more details about the alliance and typed out a quick message telling him she’d come by in the morning before plugging the phone in to charge and rolling over to stare at her ceiling.

When she was younger, she’d suffered nightmares after the ordeal with Maddox. She had expected them to come back when Griffin entered her life but so far they hadn’t and she wanted to take that as a good sign. She knew that on the outside she didn’t sport the same scars that Maya did from her time as Maddox’s hostage but on the inside, sometimes she still felt like she was cut wide open when she thought of him.

Despite her reaction to Griffin and his resemblance to the brother he had only barely even known, the nightmares hadn’t returned in the past few days and she was grateful for that, hopeful that it meant fate was right and she could trust him, but also annoyed because she had no rational reason to explain why she couldn’t sleep.

Except that she couldn’t stop thinking of Griffin.

Griffin as he’d been that first moment they met, wide-eyed and as surprised as she was, with hope in his eyes. Griffin as he’d looked that morning standing outside her house as if he’d known she was planning to run, disappointed but steadfast. Griffin with that teasing smile of his and the longing way he snuck glimpses of her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention while they’d walked into town. Griffin crowding her space in the kitchen earlier, the soft brush of his breath at her ear and the feel of his body pressing against her back, encircling her, making her feel wanted and protected instead of threatened. Griffin grinding against her in the shaded part of the backyard, as desperate for her as she’d been for him.

Nova groaned and rolled over again, flipping open the bottom drawer of her nightstand and pulling out the pink bunny toy she’d bought online as a gag gift for one of Luna’s birthdays before ultimately deciding just to keep it for herself. The thing had come in handy over the years, literally and figuratively. She didn’t exactly buy into that whole notion that a shifter should save themselves for their fated mate, but she also hadn’t been comfortable enough with anyone to go that far. Instead, she had Bunny and he had always been able to get the job done before when she was restless and couldn’t sleep so she figured she may as well have a go at trying to get Griffin out of her system by using the toy to scratch the itch instead.

She slid her free hand down and pushed at her underwear, kicking them off. With a practiced finger she found the button to switch the vibrator on and then slid it down beneath the sheets. She spread her legs and closed her eyes as she let the length slide against her already slick pussy. She bit her lip as a shiver worked its way down her spine and straight into her core.

Of course she was already wet. She’d been thinking about Griffin. Wanting Griffin. Her body was primed for him but since she couldn’t let herself have him she would give herself this instead.

With her eyes closed and her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, Nova played the vibrating wand over her slit a few times, teasing herself. In her head, the images came to her unbidden. It wasn’t the vibrator between her legs, it was Griffin. It was his hand sliding between her legs, cupping her, playing with her just to see her get even wetter for him. He glanced up at her as he did, dark lashes over those beautifully gold-rimmed eyes, hooded with desire.

Does that feel good? He asked in her head and she nodded vigorously. Do you want more?

Nova nodded again and shifted her hips. The tip of the wand found her opening and she moaned as Griffin, no, as Bunny began to push inside. Her body was so primed the toy slid in easily and her hips rolled to take more. Once it was fully inside of her she twisted her wrist until the little bunny ears rested against her clit and with another touch of her finger she turned the vibrating mechanism up higher.

Instinctively her body began to move but in her head, her imagination was busy replacing the fact that she was alone in bed with a toy with the image of Griffin in her bed with her, naked and desperate to make her feel good.

Now Griffin was buried inside of her and thrusting as he held himself up over her. She planted her feet on the bed to give herself leverage and met him with a roll of her hips each time he slammed into her. She pressed her free hand to the headboard, holding herself in place as the bed shook from the force of his movements. And all the while he held eye contact with her and talked to her.

He told her how good she felt, how she had been made for him, how he had needed this just as badly as she did. He whispered filthy words about how tight she was and how wet she was for him. He kissed her again and this time he wasn’t soft or gentle, instead ravaging her lips as his tongue stroked deep inside, matching his thrusts. He bit her lip and the shiver of pain sent a cascade of moisture spilling through her.

Nova’s body tightened and she cried out as he continued to thrust. Her orgasm was coming so fast she gasped and tilted her head back. Griffin groaned and told her he could feel her body trying to hold him deep inside where he belonged. He used one hand to thumb her clit, sending her shooting nearly off the bed as the vibrations became too much and she cried out as the climax hit her hard, knocking the air out of her.

She shuddered and twisted. She moaned and rolled her hips. She rode out every second of the orgasm and it was only as it ebbed and the quietness of the room rose back up to greet her that the image of Griffin disappeared. She opened her eyes and remembered that she was alone.

With a sob she pulled the vibrator away and then threw it across the room. She felt empty and more alone than she had ever known was possible. Tears filled her eyes and she scrambled to pull her underwear back on and then rolled her face into the pillow and screamed so that nobody would be able to hear her as she cried and wailed at the injustice of it all.

She had thought the orgasm would make her feel better. Scratch the itch. Calm some of the raging need she had been feeling. But if anything, it was worse now.

As soon as she’d come back to reality, the ache for the man who had invaded her fantasies became even more unbearable. The release should have helped but it didn’t because her body wasn’t craving release. It was craving Griffin. Her body wanted him and only he would do because he was her mate.

Only he could ease the mating heat and knowing that her fantasy of him likely didn’t hold a candle to what the real thing would be like only left her grumpy, unsatisfied and more frustrated than she had ever been in her entire life.

It was him. She admitted to herself in the dark of her room. It was him or it was no one and she couldn’t be alone anymore. She couldn’t spend her life this way. Pushing people away because she couldn’t trust them even when they’d done nothing for her to be distrustful of except want to know her.

He wasn’t Maddox. Wasn’t that what he kept telling her? Well, she knew that. But now she just had to find a way to believe it. Because if she could believe it, if she could let him prove it, then she could let him in.

And dammit, but she wanted to let him in, she realized. She wanted him. And she didn’t think it was only the heat pushing her towards him. It was also fate.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

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