Page 33 of Bad Daddy

“Not out partying?” Danny asked, trying for teasing.

Haru snorted. “If you think I’m the partying type after two weeks of listening to me go on about constellations, I might need to seriously reconsider our friendship.”

Friendship. Right. That’s what this was. Haru was Danny’s friend.

It was okay, if they were friends. Then Danny wasn’t leading him on. Or expecting or hoping for anything else. Haru was sweet to him, in a way Danny didn’t deserve, but it was something he didn't want to fight.

He just knew how badly he was flirting with danger. Danny had been able to keep Haru in the dark about Clint, but it tasted more and more of dishonesty in a way that turned Danny’s stomach. And if Clint were to find out about Haru…

For the most part Danny tried not to think about it, like he always did. He knew he was in over his head, but he wasn't yet in a place where he could afford to mess up with Clint. And for all that he hated that he was lying to Haru by omission, he couldn't make himself give Haru up either.

At the end of the day, Danny knew he was being stupid and selfish. In another life, maybe, he had his shit together. Someone might have cared about him enough to make sure he got accommodations earlier on, so he didn’t struggle with school for years. Maybe he’d even have a job he liked by now, one that let him be independent. In another life, Danny wasn't a sugar baby to an asshole who got off on the fact that Danny was struggling. He’d be able to spend time with Haru without guilt eating away at him.

Even if Haru was just his friend, Danny felt like he was emotionally cheating on him somehow. He shouldn’t be spending time with Haru, hungry for the man’s attention, while Clint always lived in the back of Danny’s head.

But that wasn’t the life he had, so he had to live with the one he got.

At least everything else was going well

***

“You’ve been doing so much better in your classes recently,” Clint said when he made Danny show him the results of his last statistics test. Danny braced himself at the silken tone. It might almost sound like approval coming from anyone else, but Danny knew better. He wasn't going to like whatever came out of Clint’s mouth next.

“Yeah,” he tried. “I’ve been working hard.”

“Mm.” Clint stroked his hair, and Danny managed not to shudder. “Maybe this means you don’t need those study sessions with Lacy anymore.”

“Lily,” Danny said automatically, mind racing. He didn't want to lose Saturday mornings with Lily. Even if he hadn’t needed them as much for actual studying lately, Lily was… Lily was his friend. It wasn’t time Danny wanted to lose with her.

He didn't want this to be another thing Clint took away.

“Lily’s pretty much the reason my grade is where it is,” Danny said in a rush. “I don’t–I don’t want to lose the help and then have my grades slip–”

“Oh pet,” Clint smirked. “You really can’t do it on your own, could you?”

Danny looked away. He didn't have to pretend at shame. Not because Clint’s words were true, because Danny could do it on his own. He was good at math when he was able to do it his way. But this was what people like Clint thought of him. What they’d always think of him.

“Oh well.” Clint sighed. “Certainly, we can’t waste my tuition by letting you fail basic college math.”

Fine. Danny would take it. Clint could think whatever he wanted about him. Danny just needed to keep getting by.

***

“Okay,” Haru said after he and Danny had their drinks and pastries in front of them at the cafe. “You have to let me explain.”

“Explain what?” Danny asked dubiously.

Haru grinned at him and held out a medium-ish flat box, wrapped in non-descript brown paper.

Danny took it, confused. It wasn’t very heavy. “What’s this?”

“See,” Haru said, eyes twinkling. “First you open it, and then you let me explain.”

“Um, okay.” Danny obeyed, carefully peeling back the tape and removing the wrapping, to reveal a very colorful tin. A 72-pencil pack prismacolor tin.

Danny stared at it.

Haru rubbed the back of his neck. “I had a therapist suggest I try those meditative coloring books a while back. You know, those ones for adults with the teeny tiny squares?” He grinned ruefully. “Turns out they drive me nuts. And so I’ve just had these sitting around collecting dust, and well, since you like to draw…”

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