Page 42 of Bad Daddy

“Yeah,” Danny said. “Just thinking.”

Haru nodded and leaned back against the counter, sipping his coffee. He didn't ask what Danny was thinking about, and Danny was grateful for it. It made him want to talk.

“I just…” Danny took a breath. “I haven’t really thought about it, you know? How hard things were. They just were. I had to do it on my own and no one was going to help me, and I had to deal with it so I did.”

Haru looked like he actually understood. “That’s what surviving is.”

“Yeah,” Danny said, gaze dropping to the floor. “It’s just… it’s hard to look back at everything and see how it could have been all along. If someone gave a shit sooner, you know? Then maybe I wouldn’t have had to deal with him at all. I wouldn’t have–have spent the last eight months jumping everytime my phone went off, or feeling sick about having to limp to class, or–” the words wouldn't stop, thoughts he refused to even admit to himself, much less say out loud. How much of his life he’d spent eaten up by anxious terror, how often he’d clenched his teeth and taken it. “I wouldn’t be imposing on you either,” he added quietly, because that was a fear too. That he had taken so much from Haru.

“First of all,” Haru said, setting his mug down on the counter. “You’re not an imposition. I’m glad and grateful to be able to help you. And I know that’s probably difficult for you to even hear, much less actually believe, but I mean it every time I say it and I’ll keep saying it until you do believe me.”

“Second–” Haru took a step toward Danny before stilling and moving back to lean against the counter again, fixing Danny with a piercing look. “Second, this guy is a piece of fucking shit. I can’t even tell you how much I hate him and hate what he was putting you through, but you didn’t deserve any of it. You don’t deserve to be hurt, you don’t deserve to struggle or suffer, and you don’t deserve to feel bad or feel guilty for hurting.”

He exhaled slowly, posture relaxing, and Danny couldn't look away. “You deserve kindness without having to pay for it. You deserve your dreams and countless opportunities and the chance to thrive. And I’m so, so fucking sorry that it has taken so long for you to catch a break.”

Danny blinked hard, the intensity of the moment forcing him to break eye contact as his emotions roiled inside of him. The thought that Haru, who was so good, so kind, thought someone like Danny deserved so much was overwhelming. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. “How are you even real?”

Haru gave him a lopsided smile. “You’re the smartest, hardest working, most dedicated person I’ve ever met. You’ve give so much time to your friends, to me, even while you’ve been suffering. You made me a star chart just because I thought it was pretty. You’re thoughtful and generous with your time and energy, even though I know it costs you. You’ve got a heart of gold, Danny. I could ask you the same thing.”

It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, possibly ever. Butterflies bloomed in Danny’s belly as his face went hot. For the second time in two minutes, Danny blinked back tears. He didn't know what to do in the face of Haru’s sincerity.

Haru picked up his coffee again, knocked it back like a barbarian, and went to put his mug in the dishwasher. “C’mon,” he said, not unkindly. “We’ve got a lot to do today and I want to make sure you eat breakfast before we get to work.”

***

They were parking in front of Danny’s building by quarter to seven, with a bunch of collapsed cardboard boxes, a couple rolls of tape, a ton of garbage bags, and a pack of sharpies–all of which Haru had insisted on paying for. On the drive over, they’d gone over their game plan, which was mostly, “box up everything, and leave the rest for cleanup.” Haru had been viciously insistent about making sure Danny didn’t do any extra cleaning or anything, once he’d discovered Danny’s name wasn’t on the lease.

“Mr. Asshole McShithead can suck it up not getting his deposit back.”

It had made Danny laugh for the first time since midterms week had started. Even more so because Haru didn't know he was talking about Clint, the rival, sleazeball lawyer who hated Haru’s guts.

If Danny weren’t so determined to keep the fact that it was Clint under wraps, he’d share the joke. But he couldn’t tell Haru the full picture about who Clint was. It was one thing for Danny to be bending over for a faceless sugar daddy. It was something else to give him a name. Haru knew Clint. Knew exactly what he was like. Knew exactly the kind of man Danny had been selling himself to.

Danny wasn’t ready for that reveal yet.

As it was, a vindictive part of him was relieved to not be expected to leave his place spic and span and ready for the next renter. Would that eat the deposit? Probably. But Danny didn't have to care.

“Where do you want to start?” Haru asked, once they were inside Danny’s apartment. It struck Danny that even though he had been hanging out with Haru for weeks now, this was the first time he’d been inside Danny’s apartment. They’d pretty much been spending all their time at Haru’s place. Haru had always been quick to offer it up, but always with the caveat of, “if you want to.”

For the first time, Danny wondered if maybe that was because Haru had suspected Danny’s own place wasn’t… safe.

He took a deep breath. He guessed Haru hadn’t been wrong.

Danny looked around. His apartment wasn't very big and it wasn't very full, but it still seemed daunting to get it all packed up in a day. “I guess we should start with my school stuff and clothes? Try to get it all together and labeled and everything, since that’s most important.”

“Sounds good to me,” Haru said, crouching down to start taping boxes together. He grinned up at Danny. “Don’t worry. We got this.”

Danny tried to smile back, tried not to let the ever-present anxiety creep too far in, and fairly leapt out of his skin when there was a knock on his front door.

Terror crashed through him. Clint was here. He came early or Danny got the date wrong and whichever it was, Clint or Ernie was outside expecting Danny to open up and–

Haru came closer to him, hands out but not touching. “It’s okay,” he said firmly. “You don’t have to answer that. Or I could check–”

Danny’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and Danny heard himself make a horrible sound, automatically grabbing it before he realized–

It wasn’t Clint’s ringtone.

“Hello?” Danny asked, pressing the phone to his ear. He couldn’t register the name flashing on the screen, too anxious to try to read it, but he couldn’t imagine who might be calling him at seven on a Friday morning. At least his voice didn’t tremble too much.

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