Page 26 of Unicorn Unashamed

Chapter Eight

Raymond usually forwent a typical breakfast before an early morning class, preferring to just down a couple of the energy bites he made at home in lieu of working out on a full stomach. He was barely able to finish one though, before he had to get his head in the game for his first clients.

By the time his midday break in sessions rolled around, he was still feeling too sick to eat. Dark thoughts kept circling around and around in his head. He’d taken advantage of someone. He’d taken advantage of Josh. Who was not only a client but a dear friend, and who had trusted Raymond to take him home and then had trusted him enough to invite him into his space.

Josh, knowing that he wasn’t in the best of shape, had trusted Raymond enough to let Raymond see that he wasn’t himself. He had most definitely trusted Raymond to not leap at the chance to fuck him, especially when Josh wasn’t in his right mind.

God, he had messed up so badly.

He kept reaching for his phone throughout the day, just checking to see if Josh had texted him, and then cycling through disappointment and resignation to find that he hadn’t. Of course Josh wasn’t going to contact him. He had to have realized what had happened by now. Raymond wouldn’t be surprised if he never heard from Josh again. Fuck, he certainly wouldn’t blame him. He didn’t even know what he would do if Josh did end up making contact. It wasn’t like there were enough apologies in the world for what he had done.

He was so antsy that two different clients commented on it and then Raymond had to smile and make his excuses and attempt to focus. When he said goodbye to his last client of the night, he immediately laced up his shoes and went on a run. Trying to clear his head, at least for as long as his feet pounded on the pavement.

He ran until he was exhausted and had to walk part of the way back. It helped, being almost too tired to think. Except after he grabbed his stuff and went to his car to drive home, he was slapped in the face by Josh’s scent, not yet dissipated from his car seats. He hadn’t noticed it that morning, with Josh’s fresh scent still in his nose from waking up next to him but now…

He drove home with every window rolled down, gritting his teeth against tears, because even after everything, even with this new knowledge that he was the worst kind of person, Raymond still found the scent so, so good.

At least the drive aired out his car. The scent was pretty much gone by the time he pulled into his lot at his apartment complex.

He stumbled through his door and collapsed on his couch, phone buzzing up as he did so. He pulled it out of his pocket with the same mixture of anticipation-trepidation he’d been riding all day, to find that it was a message from Curtis.

And so ends our second day at Disney World! It was a lot of fun, and I think Simon really enjoyed it. It was nice to see him actually relax a little. How went your day? Anything you wanna tell me about Josh? ;)

Raymond bit his lip. Cutis. He could maybe talk to Curtis. Raymond kind of needed to be yelled at, and coming from Curtis, who was his best friend and an alpha werewolf too…

It was better than rattling around in his own head. At least Curtis would properly growl at him. And he also deserved to know that Raymond was a complete fuck-up.

Do you have time to talk? Raymond typed back.

His phone rang a few moments later. “What’s up?” Curtis asked sounding sly. “Do you have a fun update for me?”

“Try the opposite of fun,” Raymond said dully.

“Okay,” Curtis said, sounding more at-attention. By now they knew how to read each even without being face to face. “What’s wrong?”

“I went home with Josh yesterday. Or, well… I took him home after our session, and then we had that flood warning, so he had me spend the night.”

“Okay,” Curtis said again, more slowly. “What’s wrong with that?”

“We had sex,” Raymond forced out as quickly as possible.

There was a pause, and then Curtis said, confused, “and that’s… bad.”

Raymond dug his fingers into his thigh, eyes squeezing shut. “He was in the middle of his virile period. Not thinking straight. And I just… I got a face full of his scent and lost it and...”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“I didn’t… I wasn’t violent,” Raymond managed. “Not that it makes a difference. He was the one who… who suggested it, but I couldn’t even think about saying no—”

“So he offered sex and you went for it,” Curtis said carefully.

“I took advantage of him,” Raymond bit out. “He… he’s never shown an interest before, not even a little, and suddenly during his virile period he changes his mind? I should’ve—I should’ve had better control. I should’ve been able to—fuck—to put him to bed and keep my distance—”

“Raymond—”

“I just—I was trying—I was trying to keep my distance, but he’s Josh and he always looks good, he’s always so amazing, but his scent was so much stronger and that’s a fucking excuse for letting myself say yes—”

“Raymond.”

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