Page 20 of Unicorn Unashamed

The couch smelled like Josh and the blankets smelled like Josh, but with actual Josh not around, they were a comfort, not a trigger. Raymond could bury himself in them, and it was surprisingly easy to drift off.

***

Josh breathed a sigh of relief once he’d retreated to his room and shut his door. It wasn’t that he minded having Raymond over—just the opposite. He liked having Raymond around a bit too much. Since he’d taken his libido inhibitor so recently, it made sense that he had gotten all drifty and sleepy with Raymond so close instead of being out of his mind with wanting to climb into his lap. The inhibitor dulled those urges a lot, and with the fire just simmering instead of being a roaring flame, having their object of affection just being present and comfortable in their space could do a lot for a unicorn’s sense of well-being. It was calming, because it meant that instead of having the stress of needing to go out and find a partner, they were secure in the knowledge that one was close by, ready to take care of them.

Or at least, that was how it was supposed to work.

Since that wasn’t Josh’s situation at all, getting some distance from Raymond and thus getting away from that content little headspace was important. Otherwise he ran the risk of getting too comfortable. Then he might actually try to climb into Raymond’s lap.

Josh grumbled to himself about stupid hormones and biology as he grabbed his laptop and splayed out on his bed. He needed to occupy his mind, and working on the emails he’d been neglecting for the last couple of days seemed as good an idea as any.

He spent the better part of fifteen minutes genuinely trying to get his work done, but it was impossible to concentrate. The core of him was all too aware that Raymond was just a room away.

Asleep on his couch, and Josh’s bed was more comfortable for sleeping, and wouldn’t it be nice just to curl up under the covers with Raymond? They wouldn’t have to do anything. Josh would totally settle for just being held. Raymond was big and strong and safe and incredibly kind. The perfect person to provide protection and assurance while Josh was dealing with something that made him vulnerable and needy and—

Josh gritted his teeth. He hated feeling like this. Meds could at least help him control his body, but his thoughts still got away from him.

He wasn’t vulnerable. He was fine. He was always fine during his virile periods. They came, he dealt with them, they ended, he moved on with his life until the next time. Sure, he had wanted… more, the last few times his virile period had come on, since he’d come to know Raymond better and get closer to him. Toys hadn’t slaked his need at all, not the way they usually did, so he’d had to get partners for the second and third days. But he’d been fine in the end. He’d never had trouble like this before, focusing so much on just one person with such intensity.

But then again, he’d also never had prolonged proximity to Raymond like this before. Usually when Josh was in the midst of his virile period, he had a routine for the days he saw Raymond. It wasn’t unlike what he had done today; he did his best to keep himself busy right before he left—which often included jerking off—took his libido inhibitor, went to his session, didn’t linger once he was done, then went straight home. He jerked off again, got his mind cleared enough to do some more work, and, once it was reasonably late enough to do so, he went to find someone to spend the night with.

This virile period, Raymond had been handsome and nice and smart as usual, but had also invited Josh out to dinner (wanting to see him outside of their usual interactions), introduced him to a good friend (packmate, Josh’s hindbrain kept saying, Raymond wanted Josh to meet a packmate), and had driven him home once Raymond had realized what was going on (wanting to guard him, shield, protect—)

So yes, okay. It made sense that things were maybe a little… different this particular virile period.

Maybe he should just try to go to bed.

***

“Raymond,” Josh moaned. “Please, I need you.”

God, Josh was beautiful like this, all flushed and spread out beneath him. Raymond rocked against him, eliciting another moan, and it was the best sound in the world. “Please, Raymond, please, I need you. I need you touching me—”

“Fuck,” Raymond ground out, desperate for him, “Yes, yeah, whatever you want.” He buried his face into the join of Josh’s neck and shoulder, breathed in deep—

—and woke up to a faceful of couch, hard as a rock, covered in sweat, and overwhelmed by Josh’s scent, thick and sweet and intoxicating.

Still half asleep, Raymond swung himself off the couch and followed his nose. A light was on in the kitchen, and he made a beeline for it. Josh looked up, clearly startled, from where he was leaning against the counter, bowl of cereal in hand.

“Raymond! Are you okay?” Josh set the bowl down and rushed forward, fresh scent hitting Raymond hard. His hair was messy, sleep tousled, and Raymond wanted to eat him alive.

“Fuck, sorry—” Raymond stumbled back to give himself a meager amount of distance. “Don’t—” He tried to breathe through his mouth. “Don’t come any closer.”

Josh stared at him. All Raymond could think about was how much he wanted, and how much he couldn’t have, his protective instincts at war with need, and he had to leave. He had to leave now.

“I need to go home,” he gasped. “I should go home.”

“Are you crazy? It’s two in the morning and the roads are all rivers.”

“Josh, please, I—I’m not safe. I wish I were stronger, but I’m not. I’m not and—and—” Raymond forced himself to take another step back. “It’s better if I leave.”

“Raymond, there is a legitimate chance that if you go out in this that you could actually die.”

“I’m really sorry,” Raymond pleaded. “I’m trying to keep a lid on it—I am—and you know I’d never—”

“Oh my god, listen to yourself! Of course, I know I’m safe! I have literally never been worried about that.”

You should be. I’m so sorry, but you should be.

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