Page 44 of Pike

“I know you do,” she says softly as she wipes the tears from her eyes. “But that’s not possible. Not anymore. You need to see who’s here, Pike. Who is still right in front of you.”

“It could have been you.”

“What?”

“They could have taken you, and then what, Feather? What the fuck would I have done then? Huh? I fuckin’ love you. I would have died right there on the spot if anything would have happened to you.”

“You’re worried about me?” she asks softly.

“Fuck yeah, I’m worried about you! Don’t you get it? They saw me leave the house, Feather. They could have gotten their hands on you.”

“But they didn’t.”

“No, they didn’t, but I still have to live with what they did to him. I still have to see that shit replay in my mind. I’m so fucked up right now, Feather. I don’t know what to do,” I admit to her. She walks closer, and the thought of pushing her away hits me hard, but I want to see what she does. I want to see how she handles this, handles me. Her hand rests on my chest, and that familiar fire burns through me. Maybe, just maybe, if anyone can save me from this hell, it’s her.

“You heal. You grow. You mourn the loss of your friend. You take advantage of those who care about you and use their strength to get through this, Pike. You lean on your friends, your brothers. You hold onto what you have because this will serve as a reminder you never know when things will change, and you might lose someone. You cherish every moment you have with them.”

“And that includes you?” I ask, needing to hear her say it. I need her words now more than ever.

“Including me.” I nod my head as I reach for her, wrapping my hand around the back of her neck and pulling her toward me. Her body collides with mine and everything seems to calm. Maybe she is what I need. Maybe she is the strength I need.

I hold her close for a long time, just breathing her in. She doesn’t make a move to pull away, so I don’t let go.

When I finally release her, she presses her lips to my chest. I sigh and grab her hand in mine, leading her over to the bed where we sit.

“It was like somethin’ out of a movie. Somethin’ you see on TV. I couldn’t believe it was real.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Pike. I wish there were more I could do for you.”

“You stood your ground, Feather. You aren’t goin’ anywhere. I appreciate that. I need that right now. I’m sorry, but there’s gonna be times I push you,” I tell her. I know how I work. I know how healing goes for me. I’ve lost brothers before but nothing like this. Nothing I had to see like this.

“And I’ll be here. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“Do you love me?” I need to hear the answer to that question. I need to know what I’m feeling for her isn’t crazy.

“I do love you, Pike.” I nod my head. I should kiss her, I should take her right now, but my mind isn’t letting go, and I can’t. Instead, I pull her into my arms and hold her before laying us down on the bed. I hold her until the Doc comes, and even then, I don’t want to let her go. She’s grounding me, and I don’t know how.

I let the Doc check me over and clean me up. That doesn’t change what’s going on in my mind. He said he could give me medicine, and I let him. Now I feel like a fucking zombie, but the memories are fading.

“You look like shit,” Free announces when he walks into the room. It’s all hazy.

“I don’t feel a goddamn thing,” I tell him. He chuckles and shakes his head before slapping a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t get used to it, yeah? We need you full force.”

“You got me, Free.”

“I know we do. Just don’t start lovin’ them pills, brother.” I know what he’s saying, and I get it.

“I got this, Free. I just need to be a little numb right now.” He nods as Mask walks in and takes me in. Feather is sleeping soundly on the bed next to me. She’s worn out, and I understand that.

“You good?”

“I am now.” I glance over at her and smile. I’m glad she’s here, even if I am pushing her away.

“She okay?”

“Just tired. She needs sleep.”

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