Page 71 of Cruel Steps

“Double Right, 200 Jet, Dragon.”

We all nodded, breaking apart and lining up. It was in these moments that I loved the game. The quiet serenity before the ball was snapped, the anticipation of the play, and the execution of everything we’d trained for.

“Green 18, Green 18!”

I took off like a lightning bolt, zagging left then right, and made a post route to midfield. I was wide open, and when I turned, the ball soared toward me just as I knew it would. Reaching up, I pulled the ball into my hands and cradled it as I took the last few steps into the end zone.

It wasn’t my first touchdown as a Hayward Wolf, but it would be the first one I’d made with a girl watching. Turning to the sideline, I searched for her as my teammates congratulated me. My smile slipped when I didn’t spot her, a nagging sensation filling me.

Something was wrong.

“That’s how it’s done!” Holden shouted, and I forced a smile, running to join him on the sideline. The coaches slapped me on the back, and I took another bottle from the manager.

Holden pulled off his helmet, and I did the same. His smile was bright, and I wanted to bask in it with him. But I couldn’t shake this feeling. Had I overplayed my hand? Did she only want to date Holden? Was I just another stopgap until a girl met the one they really wanted to be with? When would I be enough?

The quarters went by quickly, my morose thoughts taking up all my brain space. We’d scored two more times and were up 21 to 3 at halftime. The team jogged off the field and headed to the locker room. My feet were full of lead, but I trudged along. I needed to text her. If I could talk to her, then I’d know where I stood. Decision made, I couldn’t get my hands on it fast enough.

Colter: Mer, what happened? Are you okay?

It felt like a lifetime as I waited for her to respond. Coach droned on about staying focused and not letting their O-line get any yards, but I tuned him out. The irony wasn’t lost on me, but I needed to know. Finally, the dots danced at the bottom and my heart restarted at the sight.

Merbear: I know the truth. You don’t have to pretend any longer.

What the fuck? Frowning, I typed as fast as my fingers allowed.

Colter: Did you get my gift? I know it was corny, but I’m not pretending.

Colter: Meet me after the game and we can talk.

Merbear: I don’t think your fiancée would like that.

Again. What. The. Fuck? My heart rate sped up, another message coming through before I could respond.

Merbear: I was only fooling myself, believing a guy like you would like someone like me.

Colter: I’m so confused, Mer. Nothing you’re saying makes sense.

Colter: You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.

Colter: Of course I would fall for you.

It was quiet for a while, my texts left on read, and I waited with my heart in my throat.

Merbear: Goodbye, Colter.

Colter: Mer… don’t do this. Let’s talk. I’m not giving up on you.

I sent another, but it came back as undelivered. Fuck! She blocked me. Something was seriously wrong. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, and the room spun as dizziness swarmed me. Unbridled fear engulfed me, quickly followed by uncontrollable anger, and the two fought for control.

“Have you seen Mer?”

I spun, my eyes wild as I took in the freshman. Rivers. I hadn’t thought anything was happening between them, but his question right after she blew me off was too much, too soon.

“Why do you care, Rivers? Stay the fuck away from my girl!” I shoved his chest, taking him by surprise.

He threw up his hands. “Whoa! We’re friends, Donovan. I’m just concerned since she didn’t come onto the field.” He swallowed, his concern genuine, and suddenly, I realized I’d been going about this in the wrong way. They were friends; he might know more than I did.

“Wait.” I scrutinized him and crossed my arms. “What do you know? Why would you be concerned about her not showing?”

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