Page 44 of Cruel Steps

“Why won’t you look at me?” he asked, ignoring Cody. Colter’s voice was so hesitant it broke my heart.

“Listen, man, it’s not a good time.”

“I’m talking to Mer, Rivers. Respect your captain.”

Cody opened his mouth, but I placed a hand on his chest, stopping him. I didn’t want him to sacrifice his place on the team. With confidence I didn’t feel, I lifted my head and met Colter’s eyes. Gold overpowered them this time, and I filed it away. Blue for when he was happy, gold when he was sad… or angry?

“I…” Words left me as fear took over, the feeling of rejection still too close to my chest. When the song switched and familiar bass notes played through the speakers, I looked to where Holden stood, and our eyes met briefly.

Gone was the dark blue I’d fallen into that night and, with it, the electrical current that had connected us.

The vacancy was too much, and I broke our stare and ran out the door. I might not be running from Hope anymore, but there was only so much I could withstand in a day, and I’d just hit my limit.

Cody followed, taking the keys from me and driving us back to campus while I broke down in the car for the third time today.

Tomorrow.

I’d rise to fight again tomorrow.

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

COLTER

The sensation of acid filling my bones washed over me, and I steadied myself against the wall. Fisting my hands at my side, I physically restrained myself from hauling Mer back in here. I needed her to talk to me.

I’d tried to catch her after practice, but had been waylaid by Hope, so took the opportunity to ask her about the video from this morning, but she’d denied knowing anything about it. I didn’t believe her. Hope had a tell, and her left eye had twitched numerous times while she spoke. Suss.

In addition, I’d exchanged texts with a few girls this past weekend after the Wolfette tryout, and I’d garnered there was history with Hope and Mer; though no one had known what it entailed.

All sources led back to Hope, and I wanted to know why.

My mission had disintegrated the second I heard the asinine comments my teammates were making at her expense. I’d been close to committing murder, my future be damned, until I heard Holden setting them straight. However, the relief was quickly erased when Cody wrapped his arm around her and she hadn’t pushed him away.

Possession rose with each step she took away from me, and that alone was unnerving. In all the times I’d fallen in love at first sight, had I ever responded in such a way? Had taking the time to actually get to know her made the difference? Or was there just something fundamentally different about Mer?

The most confusing part was the blatant ignoring. What had happened? She’d left my texts on read all weekend, but I’d chalked it up to my neediness. But this morning, she’d pushed me away, hadn’t looked at me after practice, and now walked away without talking to me. What had I missed? Was I already screwing this up?

You do fuck everything up.

Heavy with self-doubt and thoughts I’d rather ignore, I gave up my vigil at the door and joined Holden. His posture was rigid, and the scowl he wore around everyone but me was firmly in place. I had a hunch my earlier intuition was correct—Mer was his new step-sister.

And the plot thickens.

Running my fingers through my hair, I exhaled as exhaustion hit me. I no longer had any desire to remain in this place. Holden’s gaze stayed locked out the window, his eyes distant and his jaw locked tight. Something was definitely eating at him.

“You good?” I asked.

Holden flinched, then blinked a few times, almost like he had to clear a fog. The song changed, and he relaxed even more.

Clearing his throat, he met my eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit.”

This time, Holden narrowed his eyes and lifted an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

It was comical he thought he could intimidate me. “Let’s get our food to go. This conversation needs to happen in private.”

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