Page 43 of Cruel Steps

“So, yeah, that brings us to today.” I played with the fallen lettuce, worried I’d dumped too much on my new friend.

“Shit, Emerson. That’s a lot. I can’t believe you never told anyone.” I opened my mouth, but he stopped me. “No, I get it.” His voice softened, and he lowered it. “I was bullied in middle school and half of high school. It got so bad I tried to take my life one day.”

Cody cleared his throat, and I moved closer, taking his hand. He smiled softly, his brown eyes warm.

“End of my sophomore year, I had a growth spurt and bulked up. I returned to school and made the football team, and everyone was suddenly my friend. Apparently, the team had a selective memory of my cool status, ignoring the years before I was one of them. But I never forgot. Every day, I waited for it to be the day they remembered, for the bullying to return. I hope that feeling goes away, but so far…” Cody shrugged his shoulders, his eyes downcast.

It was the most withdrawn I’d seen him since we’d met. It was a pain I knew all too well. It was what I’d recognized in him.

“I think part of me thought if I made the dance team, I’d have that high school moment where I became popular and everyone would love me,” I admitted. “But Hope will never let that happen. Case in point.”

“Something tells me you don’t even really want to be on the dance team.”

I sighed. This guy. He just got me. “Are you adopted? Because I feel like you’re my long-lost little brother.”

Cody laughed, nudging my shoulder. “Answer.”

I rolled my eyes. “So annoying.” I expelled a breath. “No. I don’t really, but it’s something I can take from Hope, and that’s giving me a purpose right now.”

“I think we could help each other. I, uh, have another secret.”

“If it’s that you’re adopted, I’m not giving you my car.”

Cody laughed, but his smile didn’t reach all the way to his eyes. Sitting up, I took a serious note. “You can tell me. I won’t say anything.”

His warm brown eyes met mine. “I know. I trust you, Emerson.” He leaned closer to whisper. “The reason why I said ‘it wasn’t like that’ wasn’t because I don’t find you attractive. You’re a solid ten, babe. It’s because… well, um, I’m gay.”

“Damn, now I feel like a fool. Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m guessing you’re not out publicly if it’s a secret?”

“My family knows, but you’re the first person I’ve come out to. Being gay and playing sports is complicated.”

I nodded, squeezing his hand. “I’m honored, Cody.” He smiled, and I saw the real him for the first time. The scared boy worried his teammates would bully him again if they knew the real him.

“You shared your truth with me, so I wanted to share mine with you. I’m really glad I met you today. It’s been hard coming to a school where I don’t know anyone. I thought it would be easier to leave all the bullying behind, but I didn’t consider how scary it would be not to have anyone.”

“Yeah, I got lucky when I met Taylor during my freshman year at Brighton. We instantly became best friends. I would’ve come home midterm if it weren’t for her.”

“I knew you’d get it. I just had this feeling about you.” He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my cheek. “Shit. Okay, so, remember how I said we could help each other?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, Lovers 1 and 2 just walked in, and they’re giving me death glares.”

“It’s not like that,” I protested. Cody gave me a look that said I was delusional, so I stopped. “Fine. What’s your plan?”

“Just follow my lead, Peanut.”

“Don’t call me that,” I mumbled.

“Too late. It’s a thing.”

I could feel his grin as we gathered our stuff and dumped it in the bin. I focused on what we were doing, not allowing myself to see if anyone was with them. I knew it wasn’t fair, but I couldn’t face Colter right now. There were so many things he hadn’t told me, and to find him connected to Holden felt too raw. Add in Hope and the rumors Jenny told me, and I knew I’d cry if I looked at him.

Before we could make it out the door, a body blocked our path. “Mer, can we talk?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I whispered.

“We’re headed out, Donovan.”

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