Page 112 of Cruel Steps

“I disagree with her, but I think it was a wasted opportunity from Hope’s perspective. Our life growing up was so different, and she would’ve done anything to change it.”

“Will you tell me about your childhood?”

Holden took a deep breath and nodded. “Trust, right?”

“You can trust me, Hol.”

“My dad’s a piece of shit. He has a severe gambling problem; I guess you could say he’s an addict. He hid it for a while, but eventually it caught up to him. He abandoned us, leaving Mom in serious debt. Then he dragged out the divorce, making the fees and everything higher, just so he could try to get more from her. By the time she got away from him, she was in a huge financial hole. She worked three to four jobs just to make ends meet. It meant she wasn’t home a lot, and we often went without things. We were fed and had a house, but our clothes weren’t new, and there was never anything extra.”

I reached over and squeezed his thigh, letting him know I was there. He glanced over, his shoulders relaxing before returning to the road.

“I was fortunate to receive scholarships for football camps, but Hope wasn’t as lucky with dance. She wanted to be accepted, and not having the latest fashion was a bigger deal for girls. When Mom started dating again, she picked the worst possible men. She thought they’d save her, but they all needed to be fixed instead. Every time we started to get back on our feet, she’d date some bonehead, and we’d fall further into debt. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“That had to be difficult. Watching your mom suffer like that?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t handle it well. My dad had moved to a bigger area than Oak Hills, so I applied for a scholarship at a private school. It was the escape I needed, so I took it. I’d naively believed if I was gone, it would be one less person to feed and clothe, and she’d stop letting men into her life. But she didn’t, and I… It doesn’t matter.” He clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything else.

“Wow. It’s hard to imagine Rose not being so put together.”

“Mom worked hard to put herself through school and get the job she has today. I worried she was going to risk it all at first.”

“And now?”

“I wish they’d told us instead of hiding behind fake reasons. I would’ve respected Mom’s decision and understood.”

“You should tell your mom that. She won’t see you for the man you’ve grown into if you don’t show her.”

“A man, huh?”

“You don’t need me to feed your ego, Hol.” He smiled over at me, eviscerating the last of my fear. Now if only he’d bridge the space between us…

“I’m glad you’re at Hayward, Wildcat. I hope you give it a chance.”

“It’s definitely grown on me.”

We smiled at each other, the tension in the cab easing, and it felt like we’d finally learned to trust. The rest of the drive was easy, and we sang songs, laughed at stories from Ember, and teased each other about silly things we’d done as kids.

When we pulled into the cabin, it was late, and I was ready to find my room so I could go to bed. It had been a long week of homework and practice, and I was drained.

Holden grabbed my bag and carried it over his shoulder, and I followed him into the cabin. Rose and my dad were on the couch watching a movie when we entered.

“You made it,” Rose said, standing and pulling us both into hugs.

“Great game, Holden,” Dad said, shaking his hand.

“Thanks. You guys get settled in?”

“Yep. We got most everything ready for tomorrow.”

Rose smiled at my dad. There was no doubt they loved each other. I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand.

“Oh, man. I’m beat. Can you show me which room I’m in?”

“About that,” Rose grimaced. “When we booked this cabin, it was before Hope’s accident.” It was then that I noticed the tall staircase leading to an upper landing.

“Okay. That’s fine. I don’t care to be upstairs.”

“Well, that’s partially it. The room upstairs was supposed to be for you two girls, and the one down here was for Holden. But we had to put her in the room down here since Hope can’t get up there.”

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