Page 37 of Cruel Steps

“Shit, I’m sorry, Mer. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. “I gotta go.” I stood, and he reached for me, but I jerked out of his path.

“Mer. Come on. Let me help.”

Keeping my eyes on the floor, I shook my head. “No one can. Bye, Colter.”

Why did that feel like a real goodbye? I took off, and I heard Cody holding him back.

“Let her go, Donovan.”

“Fuck off, Rivers. I’ll go after my girl if I want to.”

“Well, your girl wants to be alone, and right now, I care more about her than you. So sit and calm your ass down before you dig yourself a hole you can’t get out of.”

I turned the corner and lost their conversation. Cody had surprised me. Maybe I’d made a friend after all.

Walking outside, I kept my head down and ignored everyone as best as possible. The stares of Hayward College followed me to my car, zapping all the energy Holden’s arousal had given me. I needed to get out of here. Tossing my stuff into the back seat, I froze at the sight of the roses. Not one, but a whole dozen. My hands shook as I picked up the heavy cardstock lying on top of the wrapped bundle.

It’s so hard not to spoil you. Enjoy your first day and my little gift.

I can’t wait to be reunited with you, Princess.

Every trace of self-pity evaporated at the words, and my eyes moved to the long-stem roses. It wasn’t enough to humiliate me in front of the entire school. No, Hope had to rub her victory in with roses. It was another reminder of how pathetic I was and how easily I fell for everything she did. The fact she thought she spoiled me was comical. I could do with a little less attention from Hope.

“I don’t want your fucking gifts!”

The secret admirer gag had been one of the worst ways she’d hurt me in the past. I’d fallen so easily for it that it was embarrassing. It had felt so good to believe someone saw me through all the bullying. It gave me the courage to keep going. That I wasn’t as much of a loser as Hope made me believe. If someone liked me enough to leave roses and notes, then there was hope my life could change.

There had been Hope, but not the kind I’d needed.

It was just a ploy, another way to torment and emphasize how worthless I was. Because no one would ever love me enough to send me roses; no one would ever want me for anything real.

I would never be chosen.

The reminder of how lonely my life would be after Colter had held me through my tears was too much, and I snapped.

Picking up the bouquet, I smacked the roses against the side of my car. Over and over, I lifted them into the air and brought them down. Red petals flew everywhere, circling me like a cloud of red The Bachelor would be impressed by. People gaped, their phones pointed at me as they recorded my breakdown.

But I didn’t care. Everyone already thought I was a loser, thanks to Hope, so why bother?

Arms snagged me around the middle and lifted me away from the car. I fought, wiggling and slapping the person. The stems fell in the struggle, their thorns nicking my fingers and drawing blood. I felt nothing. I heard nothing. Blood pounded in my ears, and I fought to get free.

“Let me go! Let me go!” The person ignored me, carrying me away from the parking lot into a dark building. “No! No!” I screamed, my voice growing raw, and I wondered if I’d been screaming at my car. “You can’t do this. I’m sick of being the victim. She’s gone too far. Put me down!” I kicked out, but whoever had me was too strong.

“Wildcat! Stop!”

At Wildcat, I stopped, hating how easily my body responded to his commands. All the fight left me, and I hung lifelessly in his grip. Two adrenaline crashes in one day had taken a toll.

“Shit, you’re bleeding.”

Holden moved, pushing open a door and finally placing my feet on the ground. With gentle movements, he turned me around and lifted my chin. I stared into his eyes, but felt nothing.

No electricity.

No heat.

Nothing.

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