Page 21 of Cruel Steps

“Then why?” I sniffled, her words affecting me.

“You’ve been running from Hope and the ghosts of your past for so long that I think you need to face this. It could be healing for you to stick it out. If you go through with this ‘bring down Hope’ plan and then just run away after, what was really at stake? By staying, you’re showing her and yourself that she can’t control you anymore. I think that’s worth a year at Hayward.”

“So you’re saying it’s unhealthy to explode things and then tuck my tail and hide at Brighton?”

“Do I really need to answer that?”

“No.” I pouted, hating how right she was. “Ugh, fine. I’ll think about it. But first, I need to take her down, which starts with the dance team.”

“Promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t lose yourself on your quest for vengeance. I’m all for you standing up and showing this cow how amazing you are, but don’t stoop so low that you become someone different.”

I bit my lip, her words niggling their way into my skull. “I promise.”

“You’re the absolute best, Mer, even if you did ghost me all summer.”

I cringed. I didn’t deserve her. “I’m the worst and I’m sorry. Will you be able to find a roommate on short notice?”

“Don’t worry about that. Your stuff is safe and secure. Anything you want me to send?”

“Nah. It was all stuff I got for school, so I’ll wait until I return.”

“You can make it up to me by inviting me to stay one weekend.”

“Deal. Once I get the schedule, I’ll let you know about our home games.”

“Ooh, I can’t wait to see you shake your booty! I love how you’re manifesting all of this. And a new zip code could be just the thing for my love life. I can have lovers all over the world!”

I laughed, loving Taylor’s spirit. “All right, I better go. I need to find what dorm I’ll be in before tryouts.”

“Ew, gross. Bless you, child.”

“Haha. I doubt Dad has money for an apartment this term, so I’ll suffer in the dorms. At least they’re nice here. I just hope I don’t get a horrible roommate.”

“No one is better than me.”

“They aren’t. I’ll text you later. I promise.”

“Good luck, Mer. Wipe the smug smiles off their faces with your spirit fingers!”

“Don’t even talk to me about spirit fingers.” I shuddered. “Bye, Tay.”

“Bye, lover!”

Laughing, I hung up the phone and restarted my car. The rest of the drive to Hayward didn’t take long, and I parked in the lot closest to the athletic building. There were more cars than last time as students moved in. I grabbed my bag and headed to the housing office. There were quite a few people with the same idea as me, and I had to wait in line. When I finally got to the booth, I wanted to poke my eyeballs out.

“What do you mean, I’m not in the system? I was told I’d have housing.”

“Like I said, there’s no Emerson Adams in any residential housing. There’s currently no vacancy, but if you’d like to be on the waitlist, I can add you.”

Gritting my teeth, I nodded and gave her my information. I doubted this blip meant my dad had gotten me an apartment. If anything, this had Hope written all over it. She didn’t want me here, so she ensured I had no place to live. Great.

Vindication surged as I marched out of the housing office and stormed across campus. I couldn’t wait to see her face.

Groups of students hung out in the grassy areas, reading, playing frisbee and tossing footballs. Noticing all the unfamiliar faces, my anxiety rose. I didn’t know anyone at Hayward who didn’t want to see me suffer. Self-consciousness grew as I walked through the quad, a sense of cold dread filling me. I tugged at my sleeve and pulled my bag in front of me, wanting to cover my body.

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