Page 84 of Saviors

“You’re not mad?” My throat felt raw. Or maybe those were my emotions.

“Oh, we are.” A muscle in Maverick’s jaw jumped. “But only because you didn’t use your safe word earlier.”

My head fell to my knees again. “I’m sorry.”

The floor creaked as he stepped closer. “We’ll deal with that later.” He grasped my elbow, but there was nothing sexual about it this time. It was meant to help. “For now, let’s get you to bed.”

Without hesitation, I wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned against him. They’d just proved what I already knew. They’d never hurt me. But my inebriated brain hadn’t known that.

Embarrassment colored my cheeks as we walked up the stairs. I didn’t hear the others following, and that was okay. I wasn’t sure I could deal with all three of them right now.

It was a good thing Maverick was holding me, because the longer I stood, the more the room spun. By the time he helped me into my bed, I was nauseous. My stomach was turning as fast as my head.

I was still only in my panties and one of their t-shirts when he tucked the covers in around me like I was a child. I was more than grateful for his gentle care. But when he turned to leave, the panic surged up in my chest again.

“Stay. Please.” My lips rolled together, trying to hold in the plea, but it was too late. I was weak. I needed them. “I’m sorry. Please. Please don’t leave me.”

I couldn’t stand another person leaving me. Not right now. I didn’t want to be alone.

“Stop.” He closed the distance between us in seconds. His hands ghosted over my face as if he was worried about touching me too roughly. Like he’d set me off. I hated it. Hated that I’d made him feel that way. “I’ll never leave you.”

I sighed as he trailed a kiss over my hair. I was disoriented. Desperate. I wanted him to promise me it was true. That I’d never be alone again.

But before I could get the words out, sleep claimed me.

44

Maverick

Violet was still asleep when I slipped out of her bed. Morning light cut across the stairs as I made my way down, passing through the kitchen and living room until I reached the basement.

The stench of sweat wasn’t as thick here as it was at Ares. I’d been spending less time there since Violet had come into our lives. But I’d have to go there today. The need for a fight gripped my gut.

Watching her panic last night had been too much. Killing Simon hadn’t been enough. I needed her brothers. The fucking reason she’d gone through that in the first place. I would destroy them. If only to shield her from the knowledge. So she didn’t have to suffer any more than she already was.

I didn’t bother with taping my knuckles. The only preparation I did was taking off my shirt. The chains of the punching bag rattled as my blow connected. Years of abuse and scar tissue made it so my hand didn’t hurt.

That wouldn’t do. I needed the pain. Needed to feel something.

I’d rather feel pleasure. See Violet moaning beneath me, but that wasn’t going to be possible. Not until I rid myself of the image of her cowering from us.

I hit the bag again and again, picturing her enemies at first. But then the monsters changed, as they always did. Soon I was trying to kill my own demons again. Ones that were long buried.

I kept going until there was nothing left of them. Until my skin split. Until the blood was running between my fingers. I coated the fabric in its rust color, pretending it was theirs and not mine.

“Maverick.” The breath heaved in my lungs as I wrapped an arm around the bag to still it. Her voice was the only thing that could’ve stopped me, but I wasn’t ready to see her. Afraid of what would be behind her gaze.

“Did you need something, belladonna?” My forehead rested against the punching bag as I waited. My heart beat loud in my ears, reminding me, however impossible, I’d survived.

“I j-just wanted to apologize again.” Her stuttered inhale cut across my chest. My head whipped up to look at her, but she was staring down at her feet. She pressed onto her toes before falling back again in a nervous movement. “I overreacted. It was stupid. I should be healed by—.”

I couldn’t bear to listen to her say sorry for something that wasn’t her fault. Something she couldn’t control. In two seconds, I closed the distance between us. She gasped as I wrapped her in my arms, unable to stay away any longer.

“The only thing you have to apologize for is not telling us sooner.” I smoothed my hand over her hair as I brought her head to my chest. How could she still be so soft after everything they’d done to try to break her? “The safe word is there to protect you. We would’ve stopped if you’d used it.”

“I forgot.” She melted into me, letting me hold her up. I wanted to preserve her sweetness. Make sure they couldn’t ruin it like I’d been ruined.

“What triggered you? We don’t want to hurt you again.”

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