Page 82 of Saviors

“Face masks.” I lifted my arms, shaking the fruit. “You should get the whole girl’s night experience.”

“Don’t you need to cut them up?”

I blinked at the solid object, wondering how I could do that because using a knife didn’t seem possible right now. At least not without seriously injuring myself.

“You do it.” Before I could think better of it, I tossed the avocados at her.

My eyes rounded in horror as I watched them heading towards her. But Ivette wasn’t looking; she was staring up at the ceiling like I had earlier. I was too distressed to do anything but make a strangled noise as they smacked her on the cheek and forehead.

“What the fuck?” Her shout was muffled as she grasped her face.

“Oh, my god.” I dropped to my knees next to her. My hands covered my mouth as I hid my inappropriate laughter. “I’m so s-sorry. I thought you’d catch them.”

“You’re lucky I have a thick skull. I’d hate for my obituary to say ‘death by avocado.’ That would be really embarrassing for a Latina.”

Her joke had me falling into a fit of giggles again. As I collapsed beside her, I couldn’t remember that last time I laughed so much. Not just before I was broken, but in my old life.

I was too busy worrying about being a disappointment to have fun. There was no space for life when I had a dream to make real for my mother. That thought made me overwhelmingly sad.

“You and your sister didn’t have sleepovers?” I asked as I lay down next to her. I stared up at the ceiling as I waited for her answer. The sun had set and shadows crept in from the corners.

“Sometimes we’d pretended in each other’s rooms before the… accident.” I thought I heard her sniffle, but it was too faint to be sure. “All we had was each other. That’s more true now than ever.”

My hand slid across the carpet, finding hers in the dark. I intertwined our fingers. “You have me.”

I had no idea where my life was going. Or what I was doing. But I’d never been more honest. No matter what happened, I didn’t want to lose Ivette as a friend.

“And me.” My head jerked to the side just in time to see Maverick hop over the back of the couch. He flopped down on it, turning to stare at the ceiling like us. My lips twitched into a smile. He didn’t even know what we were doing, but he joined in right away.

Ivette slapped his dangling arm. “You’re not a girl, tonto.” Fool.

“No, but sometimes Connor acts like one.” He replied as he rubbed his injury.

“Dick.” Connor walked past, hitting him on the head. Maverick cursed and jumped off the couch.

Ivette jerked up, trying to stop the impending fight. I stayed where I was, staring up at the darkness spreading from the edges of the room. Or maybe it was in the corners of my mind. Reid’s face came into my vision and I was starting to realize I might be drunker than I thought. His head looked fuzzy as he stared at me with those penetrating blue eyes.

“How are you feeling, pretty girl?”

“Your eyes are pretty.” His mouth twitched, but he didn’t smile. “I’m fine.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re having fun.” He leaned forward, ghosting a kiss across my forehead.

He grabbed my discarded glass and poured me another drink. He set it beside me on the floor before taking his own and sitting in an armchair to watch his brother’s fight. I heard their scuffles and curses, but my head was spinning too much to look.

I closed my eyes, trying to make it stop, but it only got worse. In the dark, behind my eyelids, I started to remember things. Simon’s face swam through my mind. I gasped, like I could feel his rough hands holding me down. Hear his voice grunting in my ear.

I shouldn’t have had so much alcohol. I’d let my defenses weaken. Now whatever barriers I’d created to force the memories away crumbled.

It was still only flashes, but I felt as if I was living them all over again. Like the pain was real, not a memory.

My eyes flew open. My chest heaved as I pulled oxygen into my lungs. Sweat broke out along my skin. I tried to shove down the nausea gripping my stomach.

I sucked a deep breath into my mouth, letting it out through my nose. Slowly, I breathed over and over. I didn’t move. I couldn’t let everyone know that I was falling apart. That I wasn’t as healed as I pretended to be. I couldn’t be a failure again. A disappointment.

“I’m out of here.” Ivette called. “Too much testosterone.” From the corner of my eye, I saw her grab her bag.

“Charlie is waiting outside to take you home,” Connor said. She stuck her tongue out at him. I clearly wasn’t the only one who was drunk.

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