Page 45 of Saviors

I hated myself for being vulnerable. For letting fear control me. Connor saw the truth.

I was afraid to let someone else in. I could pretend it was because she was hurt. Still recovering. But Mav had been right, she needed us. We could help her heal. We might be the only ones who could. The only ones she could trust. Even if she shouldn’t.

I just wished I could trust her not to hurt me. Rip apart the fragile soul I hid.

24

Violet

My hand gripped the stair railing. My foot hovered over the bottom step. I could hear the guys around the corner having lunch. Or breakfast because their sleep schedule was different.

I found myself adapting to it as well. Waiting for them to get home at night. Sleeping late with them. But I’d lingered in my room today.

I couldn’t hide forever. Eventually, one of them would come looking. I should just get this over with. Show no weakness or embarrassment.

Heat filled my cheeks as I stepped into the kitchen. I stared down at my feet, unable to meet their eyes after their rejection yesterday. I knew they’d be filled with pity and I couldn’t take it. I shuffled towards the refrigerator to get a drink.

“How you feeling, belladonna?” I grabbed the orange juice so I could continue hiding from Maverick’s gaze. I glimpsed him sitting at the table. Connor stood close to me while Reid was by the stove.

“Fine.” I closed the fridge, moving to a cupboard and getting a glass.

“You slept well.” Connor said as I poured the drink. My stomach tightened as I remembered him coming into my room last night. He’d fallen asleep on the chair like one of them always did. Protecting me, even though they didn’t desire me.

Maybe I was just as bad; acting as if it didn’t happen. Pretending I didn’t want them. Letting fear control me. But fear was all I had left.

“Violet.” I stared at the orange liquid, trying to ignore the command in Reid’s voice. “Look at us.”

Something in me was seriously broken because my eyes lifted. I couldn’t deny a direct order. It was like I had no will of my own anymore.

The breath caught in my lungs as I saw the bruises on their faces. “What happened?”

Without thought, my hand shot out, cupping Connor’s cheek, who stood next to me. There was a purple mark just below his eye.

“Training.” He said as he leaned into my touch. Tingles ran down my arm even if I knew it was an unconscious gesture. He didn’t want me.

“Working out some resentment.” My gaze moved to Maverick, who had minor cuts in his eyebrow. He was shirtless again so I could see the bruises across his chest and torso.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at Reid. My mouth dropped open when I examined him. He was wearing his typical suit pants, but with a plain white t-shirt. There were marks all along his arms. His face had the worst of it. Dried blood crusted at the corners of his mouth and most of his skin was in various states of healing.

He glared back at Maverick, but instead of addressing the accusation, he gripped the stool. He stared at me as he pulled it out. “Sit. I’ll make you something to eat.”

I collapsed into the chair, watching in silence as he made pancakes. They’d had a fight. My stomach twisted because I knew it was about me.

I never should’ve gone to them yesterday. It was stupid to act on my desires. I couldn’t stay here. I was going to ruin what they had if I did.

My inhale rattled my chest. “I was thinking maybe it was time for me to leave.”

“Why?” My heart squeezed as I caught the flash of pain in Connor’s gaze. “Because of what happened? Did we—.”

“No.” I shook my head. I didn’t want them to think it was wrong. I refused to acknowledge that the first good thing I’d felt in years was twisted. Dirty. “You didn’t do anything. This isn’t about last night. It’s just…this isn’t my home.”

My eyes burned; telltale sign that I was going to cry. My body rejected the idea of leaving. But this wasn’t working for them. I didn’t want to be the reason they fought. Or more families broke apart. “I need to find my brothers.”

Maverick got up from the table, coming to stand beside me. I hated that his gaze was as pained as Connor’s. I loathed that I was the cause of it. “We’re looking for them.”

“I know.” I brushed a hand down his bare chest, trying to soothe him. Unable to leave without one last touch. “It’s just… time. I don’t want this.” I lifted my arm, gesturing between them. “It’s because of me.”

A muscle ticked in Maverick’s jaw even as he grasped my palm, placing it on his chest again. He glared at the back of Reid’s head. My gaze flicked to Connor, and I saw him doing the same. This was why I had to leave.

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