Page 28 of Saviors

I forced the memories from my mind as I stepped into the tub. My legs wobbled. A hiss escaped my lips as the warm water hit my skin. It had been so long since I’d showered. I’d forgotten I could. It was just another ordinary thing that had been taken from me.

My hand shook as I grabbed the small bottle of shampoo. I worked it into a lather and washed my hair. My scalp ached in places where my ponytail had been yanked. I skipped the tender spots as I rinsed it.

Soon I settled back into the age old routine. Conditioner. Shaving my legs. Cleaning my face.

The soap was slippery in my hand as I ran it along my skin. I waited for the calm to come over me. To get lost in the familiar. But it never came.

My body looked the same as the soap disappeared. I watched it swirl down the drain. It was pure and spotless. That was wrong. It should be black. It should’ve taken away this dirty feeling.

My hands moved, rubbing the bar along my body again. It still washed clean. Bright white.

No.

I grabbed a washcloth. I needed to wipe harder. Needed to get clean.

It became a blur as I scrubbed at my skin. My flesh turned pink, but it wasn’t enough. I could feel him.

His greasy fingers gripping my hips. His rancid breath in my ear. His weight pressed down on me. Pinning me beneath him. Trapping me.

My lungs squeezed. I couldn’t breathe. I tasted bile on my tongue. Burning my throat. I needed to get rid of him.

I jerked the shower knob, turning the temperature to warm. But not even the scorching heat could get rid of this feeling. This itchiness under my skin. It was like a disease. An infection. It was spreading, eating me alive.

I had to stop it. Maybe I could burn it off.

My grip slipped on the knob as I made the water hotter. Each searing drop pierced my skin. But it still wasn’t enough.

I didn’t want to feel this way. Didn’t want to be this. Broken. Tainted.

The idea of living like this forever stole the breath from my chest. The mist burned my lungs. I wanted to be myself again. I wanted the agony to go away.

A sob burst through my throat as I scoured at my body. I pressed harder. Tore at myself until the pain disappeared. Until there was nothing left.

15

Connor

Itilted my wrist to check my watch. Shit, I needed to get changed if I was going to make it to the club on time. There was a high stakes game starting in about an hour.

Maverick came into view as I hustled up the stairs. He was shirtless. His knuckles still wrapped in gym tape as he leaned against the wall outside Violet’s room.

“What are you doing?” I stopped in front of him. My gaze flicking from him to the door.

“Waiting for Violet.”

My eyes narrowed. He looked more concerned than his words expressed. His thick arms were crossed over his chest. The veins in his neck were tense. And the sharpness of his jaw could cut glass.

“We agreed she’d stay home for a while. Charlie and Brandon will be here.”

“I know.” He sighed at my raised brow. “Something is wrong, man. She saw me sparring with Charlie and she lost it. She thought he was hurting me. It wasn’t normal.”

“Is there a normal in this situation? After what she’s been through, it’s a miracle she’ll even speak to us.”

“I guess.” I could hear the disbelief in his tone. A low buzz started in my gut. I trusted Mav, maybe more than I trusted myself. Certainly more than any person in this world besides Reid.

He could be right, and something was wrong. Or he was worried for no reason. I wish I had answers. But all I had to give him was myself.

I took a spot next to him, leaning opposite Violet’s door. The minutes ticked by as we waited. But for what? Violet to appear? A noise? A sign?

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