Page 64 of Imperfect Skin

Cal smiled then, his eyes creasing in the corners as he looked at me. “I love you too, Mouse. Think I have for a while, just needed a shove to see it.”

“You are a brilliant Daddy and Dom, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be a blockhead from time to time.”

“Oi.” Daddy scolded me with no real heat.

“I love you, my grouchy Daddy. Now that’s out of the way, I want cuddles and some aloe for my arse.”

“Love you, little Mouse.” Daddy kissed me then, and the world did feel like it slowed down for a minute, as storybook as it sounded. I’d been brave and told him I loved him, and he loved me too. Talk about a turn-up for the books.

“Good. We love each other. Now get with the pampering, I have pillow princess aspirations I wish to achieve and you’re slacking in your duties.”

“Do you seriously want to go to bed with a freshly spanked bottom?” Cal’s eyes twinkled with amusement.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, old man. But no, my bottom is closed for business until tomorrow.” I kissed him quickly, before rolling off his lap and onto my front, giving my bum a wiggle. “Aloe me, Daddy.”

Twenty-Three

MOUSE

Declan sat in his overstuffed armchair, smiling. The man didn’t look anything like the therapists the hospital had sent me to see after the crash. With his thick beard and colourful tattoos, he’d look right at home working at Viking Ink.

It had only just gone eight a.m., but Dec had agreed to an earlier appointment to fit in with my work schedule. It also meant I was in before Rhys started work. I didn’t care that he knew I was seeing Dec, but my nerves were frazzled, and I didn’t want to snap at Rhys just because I was nervous.

I’d already snapped at Callum this morning, and that had earned me a tally on the punishment list, darn it.

“Hope the coffee’s okay. Doc walloped the machine with a book yesterday, and it’s been making weird noises ever since.”

“You’d be better off just getting one of those pod machines. Less for Doc to get cross with,” I answered, taking a sip of the proffered coffee.

“But why spoil mine and Rhys’s morning entertainment?” Dec set his own coffee aside and reached for his notebook. “Doc didn’t go into specifics when he arranged this appointment for you, but he did allude to something going down after Simon and Rhys’s engagement party.”

I set my own coffee aside and scooted forward. I’d promised myself and Cal I was going to really try with Dec and give therapy a go. “Yeah. Um, Rhys said you’re cool with kink, like, you’re not going to judge on any of that stuff?”

Dec smiled and copied my pose, sitting forwards in his seat. “Rhys is right.”

I scratched my beard, mulling over how I wanted to start. “I’ve been going to places and getting people to beat on me,” I blurted out. There was no point in beating around the bush.

Dec sat back and frowned. “You’re not talking about trained Doms, I take it?”

“Nope, avoided clubs like Crimson for that reason. I wasn’t looking to get off, I was looking to be punished.” I pulled a loose thread hanging from the torn hole in the knee of my jeans and focused on it, not sure if I wanted to see Dec’s expression. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pain slut through and through, but I looked for guys I knew had no skill and would probably hurt me.”

“Did it help?” Dec’s voice held no condemnation, only kindness.

“I thought it did, but not really. Daddy—um, I mean Cal—he’s helping me find better ways. He also said he wouldn’t give me a pain session if he knew it was for the wrong reasons.” I sat back and smiled. “Not sure how he’d know, but he said he would, and given the last few days, I’m leaning towards believing him. It’s like he has some sneaky sixth sense or some shit.”

Dec chuckled, nodding. “Doms like Cal do, I swear.”

Dec didn’t ask the obvious question.

“We’re together, uh, I mean Cal and me. He wants to help me get my head straight, but I mean, that’s not why we’re together.”

“That’s good, Mouse. I’m not here to judge who you’re dating. But as a friend, I can say you’re a good fit for each other.”

“Cheers,” I laughed. “I’ve been crushing on him on and off since I was sixteen years old. I thought I was dreaming when he burst into The Pit and decked Ziggy.”

I sobered at the memory of that night.

“I need help, Dec. I want to stop hating myself for what happened to Mum. I want to feel like I’m worth Cal’s time. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

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