Page 7 of Forever Ink

Simon’s hands kept carding through my hair in relaxing sweeps, calming me.

“He has a friend who works for the Crown Prosecution Service.” I looked up and saw Simon nod. He probably knew that already, but he didn’t rush me.

“News about your father’s case?” he asked softly, his hands dropping from my hair to reach for my hands.

“No, that is still ongoing. This was about Susan.” I looked down at our joined hands. “They had to release her.”

“What the hell?”

I squeezed Simon’s hand. “Yeah, that was pretty much how I felt. I called my barrister, but he wasn’t in. His secretary said he would call me tomorrow. I don’t think there is anything I can do.”

“Fucking hell,” Simon muttered as he lifted me into his lap. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault, Sy. They don’t have the evidence against her, that’s all.” I hated how defeated I felt. Susan was just as big a part of my childhood trauma as my father. I remembered when Dad had brought her to Thumper Downs that first time, announcing she would be my new mother. I’d reacted like any little kid who’d just lost his mum and had this strange woman and a man he feared announce that she was to be my Mum and that I was to leave the farm, the one place that felt like home. I’d thrown the mother of all tantrums and begged to stay with Grandad.

I shook my head. It was too easy to get lost in those memories and I didn’t want to, not tonight, but I hated that they’d robbed me of my childhood and tainted my adolescence. It made me angry. So fucking angry.

“Baby, are you ok?” Simon removed his hand from mine to bring it up to my face. I leaned into his touch.

“Yeah—no—maybe.” I didn’t want to be that scared kid anymore. I hated Susan. I hated that she made me feel like I did all those years ago.

“Hey, you know I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I knew Simon meant it, and I loved him for it. He would always and forever be my protective daddy bear. But I also wanted to be able to stand up for myself. With help from Declan my anxiety attacks were lessening, though I would probably never be rid of them. But at least now I had coping strategies to deal with them.

“Know you won’t, but you shouldn’t have to protect me.” Sighing, I sat forward, untangling my fingers from Simon’s. I scrubbed them through my hair in frustration. “I just wish this was over, that I didn’t have to worry about her or him.”

“They’re not letting him go?” Simon’s voice rose marginally.

“No, the case they have against him is good. It’s only Susan. They don’t have enough on her to charge her with anything.”

“But what about the vandalism of that storefront? Didn’t Donald say that she could be charged with a hate crime?”

I shook my head, as frustrated as Simon sounded. “Honestly, I don’t know. I won’t know anything more until I hear from my barrister.” What the hell would I do if Susan turned up in town? I wanted to think that I would have the strength to stand up to her, to tell her to leave me alone, but would I have another panic attack?

“Rhee? Whatever happens, baby, we’re in this together.” Simon opened his arms and I moved into his embrace.

“I’ll call the barrister in the morning. I can’t just wait around for his call. I need to hear from him. Then I can work out what to do.” I shrugged, hating feeling helpless.

“Good plan. We can hold off heading to the farm until the weekend, head up with Mitch and Callum and Alice. As I said, it gives Da a chance to finish getting the farmhouse tidy.”

I smiled at the thought of Magnus Johannsen with a duster and mop. He was a large man in both build and presence. I could see a lot of him in Simon, except for their hair colour. Simon had shown me a picture of his mum. She was small with dark eyes like Mitch, but the same fiery red hair as Simon.

From the stories Simon told me about her she sounded wonderful. She’d died nine years ago in a terrible car accident.I was seven and a half when my mum had died—a hit and run. They’d never caught the driver. She’d been knocked off her bike and thrown into a nearby creek, and passers-by hadn’t found her until it was too late. I’d never known the truth of her death until I was older, and grandad had sat me down and told me. My Dad would explode anytime my mum’s name was mentioned. I remember he didn’t even cry at her funeral, just looked angry and sullen. Thinking back, I remembered that Susan had been at the funeral. She’d been working at the town library where my mum worked and they hadn’t gotten along very well. I remembered Grandad muttering about why that stern-faced shrew would show her face at the funeral of a woman she vocally despised. I never understood how anyone could have hated my mum. Perhaps it was the rose-coloured glasses of childhood, but Mum had always been perfect in my eyes.

“You okay?” Simon’s arms tightened around me as he hugged me tighter. We both needed physical contact tonight.

“Yeah, just thinking about my mum. I know she would have loved you, and she would have loved Tewsbury. She always wanted to live by the sea. Grandad told me that he and her would joke about running away to the Cornish coast. He’d find a nice, widowed publican’s wife and Mum could find the seaside cottage she’d always dreamed about.”

My body shook when Simon laughed. “Having met your grandad, his idea of a perfect place doesn’t surprise me. Is he still planning on coming up on Christmas Eve?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see him. I know it’s only been a few weeks since he was last here, but I worry about him. The farm is a lot of work. I know he’s got the guys from town helping him but there’s still a lot to do on his own.”

“Do you think he’ll keep going with the farm, or maybe move into town eventually?” Simon asked. I realised what he was doing, taking my mind off Susan, and I was profoundly grateful.

“Is it selfish of me to wish he’d move here?” I knew my grandad loved his farm, but I’d also seen how tired he was the last time he’d come to visit, and I was worried about him.

“It’s not selfish, Rhee. You want your family close, and he does seem to enjoy spending time here.”

“I think I just want everyone I love and care for close at hand,” I sighed.

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