Page 62 of Forever Ink

“You threatened me with him time and time again. How am I supposed to believe you didn’t know what he planned to do to me?”

Shame flared in her eyes, and I felt a brief surge of satisfaction.

“So why are you really here, Susan? I don’t think you’re stupid enough to think I would forgive you.” I was shocked at how cold I sounded.

“No. I, uh. After your father was arrested, the detectives came to the house. They showed me photos of what he and Father Gordon had done, then photos from my father’s ministry. They were terrible. I couldn’t believe that they had done this to those boys.”

“Well, you sure as shit didn’t believe they’d hurt me.”

“Your father was adamant that you had been treated well, that the break in your arm had happened because of you not looking where you were going. I was a bloody fool. I should have asked more questions.”

I shrugged. She wasn’t going to get any argument from me on that score. “While this trip down memory lane has been fun, can we get to the point of why you’re here?”

“My sister Shawna. Her boy. He’s… like you.”

“Blonde? Short? Gay?” I fired off, watching her wince at the last word. Bingo. “Is your precious little nephew gay, Susan? What, you could let your stepson be physically and mentally abused, but your nephew is a step too far?”

Perhaps I was being cruel, but I felt like I was allowed. Susan had been a part of what I’d suffered, and she didn’t get a free pass because she’d suddenly developed a conscience.

I turned to look out the large windows that ran the length of the diner, catching sight of Simon and Donald sitting under the large bandstand that sat in the square. My heart sped up a little looking at them. A few months ago I never would have imagined this would be my life, but by breaking free, escaping, I had finally been able to find somewhere I both belonged and was accepted for who I was. Susan’s nephew deserved that chance. I sighed, turning around. She was wiping at her eyes. I saw true regret in them.

“You want to help your nephew?”

“I do. I really do.” Susan sat up straighter, pouring the last of the tea from her pot into her cup.

I caught Liz’s eye. “Another Mocha Mess, Rhys?”

“Yes please, and could you get someone to run out a couple of coffees to Simon and Donald? They’re out at the bandstand.”

Liz laughed loudly but nodded. “I’ll send Bryn down with some, and a couple of the fresh cookies.”

Susan looked at me with a thoughtful expression. “You’ve really made a home here, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I have. Tewsbury is an accepting place full of good people. It’s my home.” I sat back against the booth and watched Susan. “How do you plan on helping your nephew?”

Susan tilted her head. Her hands clutched her mug tightly. “I need to find him first. The ministry, once they got wind of the police, took off with the wind, but I have some ideas. Ciaran is a good lad, nineteen years old, but my sister and her husband have treated him much the same as your father and I with you.”

“Has he been forced to attend the church camps?”

Susan nodded. “His father caught him with another young lad. It was terrible. I’d been trying to get Ciaran out. Neither my brother-in-law or my sister are aware of my change in feelings towards our father’s ministry. I thought if I could get him away, I might get him some proper help to undo the damage we’d done to him.”

“Noble thought. I still feel this is you trying to assuage your guilt if I’m honest, but I’m not going to turn your nephew away if you bring him here. There are some pretty awesome people here who are trained to help with the sort of trauma your nephew’s been through, and support groups and things like that. But I have to ask, Susan. Why me, and why here?”

Susan smiled, and it wasn’t that brittle thing I’d grown up seeing. It was a real smile, lighting her hazel eyes up. “Even with everything your father and I put you through, you never lost your spirit. You have a strength, Rhys, one that never faltered. I think you could be someone positive in Ciaran’s life. And as far as this town, I saw firsthand how they rallied around you. I couldn’t think of a better place for Ciaran to come.”

“I wanted to be your friend. I wanted so much for you to like me when I was little. But every time, you rebuffed me. What did I do to make you hate me so much?”

Susan shook her head, her voice dipped low. “You didn’t do anything. The day I wed your dad, he told me I was to be a good Christian wife, but I was not to try and be your friend or mother. That you’d been spoiled, and now you had to learn the way of life. I hated it. I hated treating you like that.”

“Then why didn’t you stop?”

“I was scared. I was away from the only home I knew, and I honestly thought it was normal. It was no different to how my mother and father had treated me. It’s not an excuse. I’ve been unbelievably blind. I let hate and fear guide me where I shouldn’t have.”

I nodded. It wasn’t an excuse, but I thought I understood Susan better now. I sat forward as Lizzie brought my mocha over, and took a large drink before I answered her. “I can’t promise you anything, and I can’t say that he can stay with me. I don’t think I would be completely comfortable with that. But I know people who would help. But first, you’re going to have to find him and get him away from those people.”

Susan nodded. “I can do that.”

“He’s not going to want your judgment. You need to keep that shit away from him, none of that Gods judging bullshit, do you hear me?”

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