Page 72 of Viking Ink

My arm cleaved through the icy water, and I felt my father crumple under the blow I landed, his hold easing enough that I could pull myself out of the water. My lungs burned and I could barely see, but I lunged forward yelling and throwing punches. I lost time as I fought and thrashed, and the next thing I was aware of was strong arms wrapping around me and dragging me back onto the pebbled shore. I could hear a fight going on, and my father shouting obscenities, interspersed with him yelling out in pain.

“You got him?” A voice called. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t think straight.

“I have him. Now arrest that fucker. He tried to kill Rhys!” a voice near me roared, and I knew that voice, with its deep bass notes.

Daddy.

Daddy had come to save me.

A warm jacket was wrapped around my shoulders, and I felt myself lifted into the air. I hurt everywhere and my feet felt like I had stood on a thousand shards of glass. I tried to speak, to yelp out in pain when I was shifted from the warm arms into a soft bed, but my throat hurt too much.

I didn’t want to open my eyes. The light hurt, and they still felt full of salt and grit. I struggled against the hands that were trying to get my wet clothes off, right until I heard Daddy’s soft but commanding voice, telling me to hold still.

“Rhys, baby, can you open your eyes? Doc needs to check you over. You can nap once he’s done.” Daddy sounded concerned, but I still didn’t want to open my eyes. My head hurt and I just wanted to curl up and cry.

My father had tried to kill me.

The realization that he hated me that much made me feel sick and sad. I shook my head, but even that hurt.

“Come on, baby. Let Doc look. You know he’s going to worry until you let him.”

Ugh. Damn it. I hated that Daddy made sense.

“Fine,” I ground out, suddenly feeling churlish and just so darn angry. What was happening with my emotions right now? I wanted my bears and pop—right now. I felt like I was on the edge of an almighty temper tantrum, but my body hurt so much I couldn’t.

“I think he’s regressing, Doc. Can we make this quick?” I opened my stinging eyes and saw Daddy was sitting alongside me on our bed, and Doc was standing at the foot of it with his medical case and a frown on his face.

“I’m not going to rush through and miss any injuries he may have suffered, Simon,” Doc snapped in that tone I always knew meant he was worried. “I’ll be quick as I can, and gentle as possible.”

“Fine. But if he whacks you with his teddy bear for being too rough, on your own head be it,” Daddy huffed out, moving from my side to make room for Doc, who came and sat down on the edge of the bed alongside me.

“You know Rhys wouldn’t do such a thing. Your brother? Yes. That lad has a temper on him. But Rhys knows I’m not here to hurt. I just want to reassure myself he doesn’t need a trip to hospital.”

I nodded and sat up a little, wincing. I really didn’t want to go to hospital. I wanted my soft jammies and my bears and for Daddy to cuddle me. Using that as my incentive, I did everything Doc asked and even let him put disinfectant on my feet. I may have sworn just a little bit, but when Daddy gave me the look, Doc told him not to be such a curmudgeon.

I blinked back tears, watching them bicker as Doc tended my injuries, realising just how close I had come to losing this, losing those who’d become my family. The tears that I’d been holding back came then, in big ugly sobs. Worried I’d frightened Daddy and Doc, I tried to explain through broken sobs why I was crying, and it was reassuring when I could see that they both understood.

Doc excused himself, promising he’d be back in the morning to check on me and promising he’d tell Donald I’d be fit to give a statement come morning, knowing that right now I just wanted to be alone with my daddy.

Daddy lay on the bed, pulling me close and kissing my tears away, letting me cry out my emotions until I felt utterly spent, but better. I snuggled in deeper against him, resting my head on his chest, touching him to reassure myself he was really there. At some point he must have gotten up, as he’d brought me my sippy cup with some juice, and my pop and my teddies were sitting close at hand.

A part of me thought I should try to be big, to talk with Daddy about what had happened, but another, larger part just wanted to be Daddy’s little boy, and soak in his care and love.

I must have spoken aloud, because Daddy pulled me against him, slipping pop against my lips and telling me it was okay, to do what my body wanted, and just let him do all the yucky adult thinking for the time being. I was good with that.

I wiggled and huffed until I finally found a position that didn’t hurt and lay like that while Daddy talked about all the things we were going to do together. The only worry I had was I might have a nightmare tonight. They had been dwindling since I’d started sleeping in Daddy’s big bed. With Daddy’s arms around me, I fell asleep most nights feeling safe. Tonight though, I was worried that the nightmares would be back with force.

Daddy’s hand came up to cradle my face and he gave me a concerned frown “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Looking at Daddy’s worried face I knew I couldn’t keep my fears to myself. “What if I have a nightmare tonight?”

Daddy looked at me for a long moment then a soft smile of understanding smoothed his frown away. “Did you want to wear a diaper tonight baby, would that help ease your fears?” He spoke so calmly that I couldn’t help being reassured by it.

I nodded, more to myself, I think, as the suggestion took root in my mind. I didn’t want to have to worry about having an accident if my nightmares came, and the simple act of Daddy taking care of me this way made me feel small and cared for.

“Please Daddy,” I said.

Daddy shifted off the bed but not before he laid a gentle kiss on my forehead before handing me my teds.“Lay still, baby bear, I’ll be right back.’’

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