Page 34 of Watch Me

Not today.

But I catch myself wondering, did he indulge her kinks?

Did he do this with her?

The guilt and shame is somewhat eclipsed by my all-consuming need for her, and I manage to keep it at bay by promising myself that I will wallow in regret tomorrow.

But just not today. Let me have today.

My mind is already ten steps ahead to tonight, thinking about what’s next for us. Meanwhile, she’s pulling a face. Eyes as round as they can go to represent her teacher’s thick glasses.

“Stupid little girls do not become great ballerinas!” she imitates in her silly accent.

“How can you be so fucking sexy and such a fucking dork at the same time?” I ask, earning a loud guffaw from her.

* * *

“Nothing you can say will shock me,” she tells me later, tracing a circle through my chest hair with one fingernail. We’re lying in my bed this time, cooling down after sex—again—talking idly, and somehow, the conversation meandered over to my marriage.

Dangerous territory since my ex is her ex’s mother. I’m sure neither of us wants to think about that right now, so I started talking about why Rebecca and I broke up. What it is about me that made me a hard man to be married to.

“I was always faithful,” I say emphatically. “Always. But there’s a dark side to me, Zoë. Things that turn me on that Rebecca didn’t understand. I came to realize that I probably can’t be in a normal relationship.”

Her response surprises me. “I get that. I’ve felt that way, too. Like the things I want, the way I am, is just wrong.”

I don’t say anything, the name Tate whispering in the ether around us. I don’t want to ask.

“So tell me about that dark side,” she says. “My job is to cater to men’s fantasies, after all. I don’t have a lot of naïveté.”

I kiss her hair, smiling to myself. I’ve probably never met a woman as open-minded as Zoë, and there’s no point hiding anything from her now.

“I like to watch,” I say.

“I know.”

“And I like to be in control.”

“Uh-huh.”

I pause. “How would you feel if you knew I wanted to watch you fuck somebody else? That it would turn me on to give you away, or to watch you in secret, without him knowing?”

She turns to look up at me, one eyebrow arched in devilish intrigue. “Is that all?”

I smile. This fucking girl. “Or that I want to take you somewhere and parade you around on a leash for other men to see and touch. Letting them do whatever they want, as long as it’s within the limits set by me?”

“That would turn me on, Nick,” she says in a low, mock-serious tone.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The sound of my name on her lips feels warmly personal, and I like it. I slide my arm out from under her shoulder and climb over her until I’ve got her pinned underneath me, one hand against the mattress on either side of her.

“And what if I told you I want you to call me Mr. Rivera,” I tell her, a simmering intensity behind my words, “and be a good little girl for me?”

“Then I would do everything you say, Mr. Rivera,” she answers smoothly.

“Hmm.” I let the sound roll off my tongue in a low growl.

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