Page 71 of Off Limits

“No, J.L. Listen. What I want to say is that…I’m going to walk away now. From you and from her. I know I’ve been more trouble in your lives than good, and it’s not because I didn’t want what we had. I did, J.L. I loved the three of us being a little family. But it’s not what I’m cut out for, or it’s too late for me. Whatever happened in my childhood, I don’t know, but I can’t be the family person you both need. I’m an artist and…a good artist knows when their work is finished.”

I’m silent with shock. She’s already walked away from her daughter, it shouldn’t be a surprise, but to hear her say so blatantly that she’s done is unexpectedly jarring.

“I signed the divorce papers,” she adds. “They’re on the table.”

When I still don’t say anything, she says, “Goodbye, J.L.” and hangs up.

Danica

I SHIFT UNCOMFORTABLY in my seat, trying to keep my thoughts on the paper in front of me. The classroom is completely silent except for the scratch of pens on paper as two dozen students furiously try to complete the essay portion of our final English exam. It’s the longhand that gets me most of all, and I take a break to stretch my hand. It would be easier to text my essay on my phone.

But it’s not the pain in my hand that’s driving me to distraction. It’s the small metal butt plug that’s sitting in my ass and making my pussy so wet I’m soaking my underpants. It takes all my self-control not to squirm and moan in my seat. I shoot a look over to Christine and catch her eye. She gives me a small, wicked smile before lowering her head back down to her paper.

The butt plug was Christine’s idea. Even though it feels like we’ve been growing apart lately, we haven’t been growing apart so much that she could resist telling me that she and Eric are having anal sex ‘all the time.’ She was the only person I could think of to go to for advice on how to do it, since Jean-Luc seems determined that I’m not ready it for yet. But I am—or, I could be, anyway.

Christine struck a bargain. In exchange for me telling her all about my secret boyfriend, she would accompany me to a sex store and help me purchase a butt plug to stretch my ass. I figured I could lie about Jean-Luc and that it was a good idea to come up with a cover story about who I’m in love with anyway, and we drove to The Stag Shop after school earlier this week with our heads held high. Other than being asked for I.D. at the cash register, no one in the store so much as gave us a second look as I purchased the heavy plug with the red jewel at the end.

“He’s thirty-five,” I told her, shaving five years off Jean-Luc’s age but still eliciting a shocked look from Christine. Too late, I realized I was still too close to the truth.

“What?” she snapped indignantly. “How did you meet him?”

“I, uh, I used to babysit for him. He’s divorced.” Christine’s eyes were wide as saucers.

Imagine how she would react if I told her the truth, I thought.

But what’s done is done, and once I’d told her that version of the story I had to stick to it, constantly adding new details that I thought might make it more palatable for her. ‘He acts younger than he is,’ I told her. ‘His wife got custody of the kids, so he doesn’t have them anymore.’ Every lie I added to make it sound better only seemed to make it sound worse. At some point, I started thinking the truth would look better in comparison.

When the teacher’s phone alarm rings, she orders us to put down our pens and collects our papers, and then Christine and I head to our lockers together to clean them out. It’s our very last day at school. Our last day in this building, our last day as high schoolers. And, I can’t help but wonder, maybe our last day as friends. Ever since I started telling Christine about my older boyfriend, ‘Jack,’ it’s only seemed to make her angrier and more judgmental, like I’ve disappointed her somehow by not dating a pathetic teenage pothead like she is.

We’re sitting on the benches out front of the school with vinyl shopping bags full of crap from our lockers when Kye and Eric stroll up to us, looking cocky and confident. They must be the two tallest guys in our school. Side by side, they make quite the sight.

“Can you believe we’re done?” asks Eric, sidling in beside Christine and then almost immediately sticking his tongue down her throat in greeting. I roll my eyes at Kye, who cocks a grin.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says. “You guys wanna hit the beach?”

“Yes!” exclaims Christine.

Three pairs of eyes turn to me. “I can’t.”

“Holland.” Kye shakes his head. “When did you become such a drag?”

I hesitate a moment too long before replying, so Christine does it for me. “She’s got plans to lose her anal virginity to some thirty-five year old man who likes to date teenagers.”

“Christine! What the fuck?”

“Am I wrong?” She puts one hand on her hip. “I literally guarantee you were the only twelfth grade student writing her English exam with a butt plug up your ass today.”

“Whoa, Holland!” Kye’s eyes look like they’re about to burst out of his head. Eric says nothing, staring at me with shock and fascination.

“Jesus, Christine.” It was no secret that she disapproved of everything I told her about ‘Jack’ but I didn’t expect her to use it against me. Sharing that information with Kye and Eric is vindictive and cruel.

Christine shrugs innocently. “Sorry if I let the cat out of the bag.”

“Who’s the thirty-five year old man?” asks Kye, barely concealing a smirk. “Your stepdad?”

“Whoa!” Eric yells loudly, throwing his head back with laughter at Kye’s brazen joke. The thing is, I’m not sure it is a joke. He’s grinning, but his eyes search my face curiously.

“No,” I say hotly. “It’s none of your business.”

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