Page 48 of Off Limits

I don’t want to listen to that voice. I’d much rather listen to the delusional one that’s telling me I have everything under control. Dani and I have always been affectionate, that’s all. I have limits in place—at least, I have one limit in place left—and I won’t cross it.

I straighten up and start the car, clearing my throat, and Dani lets out a small, happy sigh.

“I want you to finish any homework you have when we get home and then put in an hour of studying, okay?”

She rolls her eyes. “An hour? Dad, I put in an hour every night. Like, I’m ready to take my exams now.”

“Do as you’re told, and then after your bath we can spend some special time together. Would you like that?”

I look over at her to see a small smile playing on her lips. “Yes, Daddy.”

“That’s good.”

I pull onto the 99. Everything’s under control. I won’t go too far. But just being in the car with her is enough to send me over the edge. Tonight we’ll just play a little. Daddy and his little girl.

My phone buzzes several times in my pocket before we pull up to the house. I can’t check it while I’m driving, but my mind starts running, linking together irrational thoughts. It’s enough text messages to be worrisome. What if Bob called his P.I. already and he found something?

What if it’s the police?

More likely, I tell myself, as I grab my briefcase and the water bottle Dani left in the car, it’s Cynthia texting after seeing Bob and I talking in the kitchen this morning, wondering if I’ve told him anything—because I’ve been a fucking idiot to keep calling her when I know she’s in a…situation with my friend.

We get inside and Dani sets herself up at the dining room table and when I finally pull out my phone, all the blood drains out of my face.

Six text messages.

All from Melanie Holland.

She lives.

Hi JL - can you call me at this number pls?

I don’t know if this is still your # I assume it is

I need to talk to u

I’ll try your office # too

Best friends with Susie from your office now lol!! She’s great

But call me if u get a chance

The fact that she called my office and spoke to Susie makes me nervous. Susie’s my very chatty Admin Assistant. I wonder what information Melanie could be looking for that Susie might have given her.

Dropping the phone back into my pocket, I realize I have no energy for making dinner.

“Sweetie,” I call out to Dani. “I’m going to order pizza for dinner.”

“Yay!” she calls out from the dining room table, flashing me a bright smile.

I open my own computer at the dining room table as we wait for the pizza to arrive, trying to hide my distracted thoughts behind the screen. I’m not sure if I should tell Dani about the texts. Does she worry about her mother? Would she want to know that Mel reached out to me? Or would she wonder why Mel hadn’t reached out to her first?

Dani, who’s supposed to be studying, fills the silence instead with excited chatter, and I don’t try to stop her or redirect her to her books. She’s in a good mood tonight.

Since she missed applying to universities while she was fending for herself in Mel’s apartment, we’ve talked about her interning at my firm until she can apply to school again next year. She’s excited about the prospect, trying out the idea of being an architect herself one day.

“It’s kind of perfect,” she bubbles on, “because I was actually thinking about engineering, but I also love art.”

When the doorbell rings, anxious energy propels me to my feet, eager to have something to do, and Dani is only a step behind, singing out “Pizza-ahhh!” as I reach for the door.

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