Page 56 of Vengeance

“Ash, when are you going to let that go? I’m with you. I love you. Why can’t you just let me?”

Why can’t I? She wishes she could, but it nags in the back of her mind. Nothing with him feels truly permanent. “I wish I could explain.”

“Try. Please, because I don’t know how long I can keep fighting you on this. I don’t know what I have to do to show you that you’re the one I love. The one I want to be with and build a future with.”

“Because I’m scared,” she admits. “I’m scared you’ll realize you deserve more and can do much better than me. You deserve someone younger who can give you kids and doesn’t have a past she’s ashamed of and tries to hide. Someone who doesn’t have a father who is a founding member of a motorcycle club that fucks up all your plans. Someone who can give you everything you want.”

They’d never really talked about kids, but Ashley knows she doesn’t want to have any. Not with losing her mother, and especially not with the life she’s led. Grayson, though, would make an amazing father. He deserves a houseful of children.

“Okay, let’s dissect what you’ve said here, okay?” he says and leans against the wall to his right. The de-escalation training he’s had comes out whenever she gets like this, and it annoys her. “First, I don’t see anyone being better than you. You’re only a few years older than me, and I don’t want someone younger. Second, I like your life experience because it’s made you the woman I love. A person I admire. I don’t understand why you feel you need to be ashamed of your past because it’s a big accomplishment to go through hell and come out the other side. And third, I never said I wanted kids.”

“You’d make a great dad, Grayson.”

“And I think you’d make a great mom, but that doesn’t mean we have to have them.”

Blinking, Ashley steps backwards. “You don’t want kids?”

“Honestly... I don’t know. I don’t find myself dying to have one, but if we found ourselves pregnant, I’d be excited. I’d be excited because we’d have a little you mixed with a little me. But I was a cop for a decade, and I saw many fathers not make it home. Your father had a risk of not making it home, and, well, your mom didn’t quite make it. There’s always a risk.”

“If we had a kid, you’d be happy? And if we don’t have a kid, you’d still be happy?”

“As long as I have you, I’ll be happy. Why is that so hard for you to understand, Ashley? I love you. All of you. The good and the bad. The present and the past.”

Looking out the window, she sighs. “Because I worry one day you’ll wake up and resent me for the life you could have had. You had a dream, Grayson, and because of my family, they took it away from you. You didn’t get the girl you loved forever, even if it’s just the idea of her,” she says, knowing how he’ll respond. “You won’t have kids even though you’d be an amazing father, and the idea that you may one day stop looking at me with as much love in your eyes scares me more than anything I’ve ever faced before. I love you more than anything, and the thought you could walk away...”

His arms wrap around her and hold her tightly. He kisses her forehead, and she sighs. “It’s not going to happen, Ash. I love you as much, if not more, than you love me. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone, and I never want to be without you. If I die before you, I’m waiting on the other side for you to join me. You and me... we’re meant to be.”

“And you think being a PI will make you happy?”

“I’ll bring in money again, and without the badge, I have a better chance at getting information. I set my own hours, which may be a lot in the beginning, but I’ll still be helping people. And we’ll have entertainment to create amazing stories with cheating spouses and embezzling employees.”

Ashley sighs. “One stipulation.”

“What’s that?”

“You are not allowed to hire some hot little receptionist to spend all your time with.”

His lips find her neck, sucking and licking, before his hands slide down to squeeze her ass. “Never.”

“Grayson,” she moans. “The windows are wide open.”

“They’re tinted,” he says as his hand slips to the front of her jeans and down into her panties, making her shudder. “No one can see us.”

Her chest heaves as he toys with her clit between his index and middle fingers while he sucks on her neck. “If this is a ploy to get me to be happy for you with the new job... fuck, it’s working.”

Looking into her eyes, he slips his fingers from her panties. She pouts, but he says, “This has nothing to do with the new job, Ash. This is about me and you. The way just being near you makes me want you. How I think about being with you even when we’re not together. How just the thought of you makes me happier than I’ve ever felt before. Plus, the sex is pretty good, too.”

She gapes at him. “The sex is amazing.”

He chuckles. “I might’ve downplayed it a bit.”

“I’ll show you pretty good,” she says and reaches for his jeans. She unbuttons them before sliding them down his legs, his erection telling her just how much he wants her.

If he wants to challenge her, she’s game. But he’ll beg for mercy by the time she’s done. And just like that, she forgets her worries for a little while.

Chapter Eighteen

Griffin’s Beach

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