Page 107 of Vengeance

“And then there's the fact the club is your legacy,” she continues, ignoring his comment. “Our son's legacy.”

“It might be our legacy, but it doesn't have to be our destiny.”

She looks at him again, and he feels a little flutter of hope. “Yes, it does. Even if we walked, it doesn't take away the danger. I had people seeking me out in Arizona because of VP when I was sixteen. I'd rather have Calla under the club's protection. Why are you asking this now? Today?”

Because I've become an overthinking asshole after being an inconsiderate bastard. “I'm worried if things are too broken, you'll leave.”

The words feel like he stabbed himself in the chest, but he needs her to understand his fears. What it means for him if the words come true is understood, and he knows she feels it when she pauses to stare into his eyes. She stares just a moment too long, and the panic starts to rise.

“I want you to hear me when I say this, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I'm not leaving you, Colt. Not unless I'm forced to.”

Forced to can mean so many different things. “You say that, but things can change in the coming months. And you don't seem eager to get back in with the club stuff. Your idea saved our asses, but I can't help but wonder how long you had that idea under your cap. It's clear the only reason you told us was because of that meeting with the old ladies.”

Sighing, Lex slumps her shoulders and looks away. “I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish there was a way to get some distance from the club. Real distance. That's what I think I need to heal what's broken so deep inside.”

“Like when you went to Arizona?” he asks and holds his breath.

“Kind of. The truth is, it's not the whole club I need to heal from. It's VP and Jennings. And... and your father, too. Everyone who should have been there to protect me and help me has failed me so many times, and I sometimes get so angry around them I feel like I can't breathe. It's why I avoid the clubhouse more often than not. It's not my safe haven anymore. Not when they're there.”

Colt moves to kneel in front of her and takes her hands in his. “Am I one of those people who also let you down?”

Pulling her hands from his, she cups his face. The words she speaks could kill him.

“It's not a secret you've disappointed me, Colt, but it's different. And on top of that, you've acknowledged it. You've admitted what went wrong, and you've explained yourself. Plus, you're going out of your way to prove things won't be that way again. With the club, it feels like a cycle of forgiveness without the patterns ever breaking. It just keeps repeating.”

At least she didn't tell him he failed her and needs distance from him, too. Even though she says it, he can't help but feel like she lies to make him feel better.

“I wish there was a way to give you what you need, Lex. There's a lot of shit we have to deal with in general, but the club does love you.”

“I know,” she says. “But you know as well as I do that loving someone isn't a get out of jail free card. It doesn't absolve someone from having to take responsibility for their actions. And I know everyone thinks this shit with VP is just something I refuse to let go, but it's not. It never got resolved, just ignored for decades, and sure, he's apologized. His actions still always put the club or Zane or something else before me. Hell, my mom left him because he refused to see the damage the club was causing me. It's like the scab keeps getting picked before the wound can fully heal.”

Nodding his head, Colt hugs her and feels her tears hit his back. “I get it, baby. I get it, and I'm so sorry.”

“We'll figure it out,” she says and sniffles. “I'm not leaving you, Colt. Not unless I have to, and I'll fight like hell not to.”

Colt pulls up to the Puffy Taco and joins the rest of his club, a thought brewing in his mind. The Hellraisers stand beside them, and Dimitri has his hands and ankles tied with rope. If the Slashers don't deliver on their promise, Colt may lose his mind. He wants O'Malley. He wants the man terrorizing his wife to suffer and die as painfully as possible.

“You boys don't think it's strange how the RIO is so damn willing to give me to the Irish?” Dimitri asks, looking right at Jennings.

“Not my concern,” Jennings just says. “Sounds like a personnel problem to me.”

He laughs. “Then you're doomed to repeat the same mistakes. I'll be dead, and you'll still be suffering.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Colt asks and walks over, getting in his face. “Huh? Because we've been suffering for over a year. Black Valley has been suffering for longer than that. My wife was kidnapped and tortured. So was Shep's wife and Jace's girl. They have permanent scars from that, along with the mental and emotional ones no one else can see.”

“That wasn't my doing!” he shouts, and Psycho grips him around the neck, putting him into a chokehold.

His doing? “Are you saying it was the RIO who did it?”

“You should get all the facts before you condemn a man to death.”

“We tried that already, and all you gave us was some bullshit about what happened overseas on your continent,” Jennings says. “Here, my wife was almost abducted and has a scar on her cheek where they bashed her with something metal that I couldn't quite make out.”

“The women in our club don't feel safe,” Psycho says and looks down at the Russian in his arms. “The women and children of the club should never feel unsafe. But they do because these assholes came after us because of you. And it's the fact they went after them, not the men of the club, that's the fucking problem. If you continue to try and downplay that, I will break your fucking neck right now.”

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