Page 101 of Vengeance

Diane shakes her head. “I look like a wet rat someone kicked a few times.”

“Then I guess I like wet rats.”

“West, stop it.”

“Stop what?”

Sighing, she moves and sits next to him. “Stop being so nice to me.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that.”

“It makes me feel even worse.”

“What do you mean?”

Her hands fold in her lap, and she looks at the floor. “I knew what I was doing that night. You were right. I knew that taking York to the room would hurt you, and I wanted to hurt you because you hurt me. But the truth is, it wasn’t a fair retaliation because you didn’t mean to hurt me. And you weren’t wrong.”

“Diane-”

“I need to stop playing games. I’ll never be able to have a real relationship if I keep repeating these high school bad habits.”

West wraps an arm around her shoulders, and the wet hair dampens his forearm. “We all play games. I did the same when I hooked up with Claws.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t enjoy my time with York. Please don’t tell him, and it’s nothing against him, but I knew the moment the door shut that what I was doing was wrong. It makes me sick to think about how I only did it to hurt you. That’s not fair to him, either.”

“I was kind of in the same boat.”

Diane laughs. “I doubt you managed to fuck Claws and not come. Trust me, I’ve fucked her, and I know she’s good.”

“You have?”

“It was an experiment. Alcohol may have been involved.”

Chuckling, he nods. “I did finish, but I couldn’t stop myself from seeing you.”

“I need to stop the bunny life, which sounds so stupid. Why the hell did we have to stop being called kittens? It fits so much better.”

“I don’t make the rules, and I’m not going to weigh in on that argument.”

Running her tongue over her scabbed lips, she looks at the wall. “I think I could have loved you, West. When I sought you out, I wasn’t looking for anything more than a good time. Then you showed me what a man is. How you weren’t just in it for you, and I saw a side of you I hadn’t seen before. A side many of the men I’ve been with don’t have. Not the single ones, anyway.”

“Diane-”

“I play these stupid games, and I hate it. While I’m doing it, I feel like garbage. Actual trash. First with Colt. God, what I did to his poor wife... I know no one saw it, but I hated myself. I got shitfaced drunk just to deal with how terrible I felt. If I hadn’t done all that, she may not have been taken.”

West looks at her with surprise. He hadn’t expected this reaction or blame about what had happened. Guilt eats at him when he realizes he expected her to be annoyed or angry that she hadn’t won. “I don’t think you’re to blame for that.”

“I’m partially to blame. I saw her when Colt brought her into the clubhouse, and I wanted to throw up. It never should have happened, and I played a part in it. But I couldn’t let her know I was wrong, so I took a few shots and became the bitch I knew she needed me to be. Having her smash my face into a table made me feel better. It was part of my punishment.”

“I’m a broken man, Diane,” he says. “There’s a lot of shit from my time overseas that still haunts me, and I’m not always the easiest person to be around. I suck at communicating, and I like being alone too much.”

Turning to look at him, Diane gives him a half smile. “I’m pretty broken, too.”

“Do you think you could be patient with someone like me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel something for you. I want to see what it’s like to come home to the same woman every night. To have someone who understands this life and understands me. Who forces me to communicate and let them in.”

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