Page 98 of Where We Ended

“Fable killed two members tonight. Red and Brooks. Just so you’re aware.” I said to Simon, then glared at my mother.

“We’re through here.”

It was nearly dawn when I stopped outside the doors of my club. No one was up, and that was good because I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone.

Exhaustion tugged at me, but so did heartache and hurt. Unfortunately, they won over me heading into my room and falling asleep.

I parked my bike, and then took off toward the garage where the gasoline was kept. Distantly, I was aware that this was insane, but I’d never felt this broken before. Not after having to crucify people. Not after having to kill, maim, and torture for my father. Not enduring burns and scars from him.

Nothing had ever cut my heart the way realizing I’d let her down did.

Carrying two large gas cans back to my old house, I didn’t even stop at the door, I kicked it in. Memories of sitting at the kitchen table with Natty while we learned Latin flittered through my mind. I remembered watching her mouth the words, so focused she never noticed how often I’d look at her.

If I were a masochist I’d walk into our old room and I’d allow those memories to build and overwhelm me like one of those rogue, sneaker waves.

Instead, I started pouring.

He’d hurt her in this house. Fuck if I knew how often. He’d terrorized her in the place she lived. The memory of when she’d been too hot because she was too afraid to open the windows came back. It was because of him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I doused it all.

Every room was lathered in gasoline and as I turned my back, I grabbed my zippo and clicked it, then tossed it inside.

It caught fire instantly. I took my cut off, and the leather jacket I’d had with me and tossed them both inside.

Lance ran out of the club, coming toward me, frantic.

He should know that frantic didn’t work around me.

“Get any original members that rode with Dirk out here,” I mused, walking back into the garage.

I had a bag buried in the concrete that I used to use when I was with my father. I pulled it free and slowly unzipped it.

I could almost feel the contents inside whisper a “welcome home.” This deranged darkness always flirted with my consciousness. Natty would always bring me back, but how would I ever go back to her knowing I’d let her down like that?

While she was bearing all my burdens, she was being consumed by her own.

Buried.

Then I punished her for leaving me. I assumed she wanted to be free of me, that it was just Christmas all over again, where she found solace somewhere else. Angry that I was always gone and needing a different change, but knowing I’d never let her go.

Fuck, how badly I’d ruined her.

Madness crept inside the fringes of my mind and for once I welcomed it.

“There’s about fifteen original members.” Lance said from behind me.

I took the bag and began rummaging for wood.

“Good, they can help build the crosses.”

I turned to inspect my friend, who had his hand on his gun. Smart move.

“Crosses?”

With the duffle dangling in one hand, I had a few boards gripped in my other while walking back toward the yard.

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