Page 77 of Where We Ended

My voice cracked as I asked, “Where else would I go?”

“Find me…I’ll be here. I joked about my mom’s grave, but truthfully, it’s the only place I want to be through the holidays. A cold grave, celebrating with the only family I ever had. She was shitty to me on her best days, and deplorable on her worst, but she was my mom. She still bought me gifts on Christmas…still decorated and managed to wrangle a tree inside. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ours…and I miss it.”

He swallowed thickly. “I miss her.”

I had no idea how that felt, other than missing Silas. I’d never missed my mother…not once. I never missed my father because I never knew him.

I had missed Sasha when I was little…even now, there was a part of me that longed for her to love me the way she loved her son, but I knew she just wasn’t capable.

“If he doesn’t show, Alec, then I’ll come spend it with you. Honestly, I wish you two could spend it together, even if he does show up. You’re brothers.”

Alec’s smile was sad, and as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, my heart seemed to break in half.

“Cain killed Abel because he was jealous of his offering.”

I didn’t know much about the Bible, but Sasha had taught us a few of the basics. I knew about Adam and Eve…the Ark, and a few other bullet points. Hateful brothers didn’t register.

“So?”

His fingers were still tangled in my hair. “So, I’d do more than murder my brother for what he has.”

It was murmured low and as soon as he said it, he took a few steps back then picked up my hand.

“Call me if you need me, Artie.” He wrote down his number with a black pen against my palm. Then stared down at me for a long moment before walking back to his bike.

I stared after him, confused.

What did Silas have that would make Alec feel so violent toward him?

Me: It’s Christmas Eve…where are you?

Silas: Ran into a complication.

Me: Will you be back tonight?

Silas:…

Me: ?? Silas…will you be back tonight?

Silas: I love you. I will call you in the morning.

Me: You promised this trip wouldn’t interfere with Christmas. You swore it to me, Silas.

Silas: I know. If I could leave, I would. I’m sorry.

I stared at my phone feeling numb.

If I understood what Silas was doing, maybe it would make me feel better, but I didn’t.

His father was a monster, and as far as I understood, he didn’t need to be working with him, or around him, or have anything to do with him.

Bitterness crept into my heart, choking out all sense. The small tree in Sasha’s living room was decorated with a string of popcorn, a few recovered bulbs from a bag at Goodwill, and a string of half working lights. There were no gifts under it.

No other decorations were around the house, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Sasha in a week. When I’d driven back to Pyle two days ago, Dirk had arrived as well. So far, I had been lucky that he hadn’t walked over and demanded to see me. Usually he found a way to torture me, especially if Sasha was gone.

I wasn’t eager to run into him again, and the longer Silas was gone, the higher the chance was that I would.

The loneliness and fear dug at my core. The silence in the house crept into that void in my soul, and I couldn’t stand it. I jumped up, grabbed my coat and left the house.

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