Page 60 of Where We Ended

Silas was quiet, and it gave me hope that he was considering what I’d said.

Minutes passed, our fingers threaded together, each second building my confidence that he’d stay.

“I’m not ripping you from the only home you’ve ever had to hunt him. If I do then he wins. I will not let him win, Natty.”

I released his shoulders and stepped away from him.

Silas stood behind me, regarding me warily.

“I’ll be back to see you, I just have?—”

“Don’t bother.” I moved to the window to look outside, desperately trying to hold in a scream.

He stayed behind me, silent and stoic.

I laughed, staring down at the backyard. “How ironic that one of you locked me away, desperate to keep me and the other doesn’t seem to want me at all.”

“Don’t fucking say that. You know it’s not like that. I’ll go and come back to you.”

There was a buzzing happening in my ears as old memories tore at my mind with invisible claws. I was staring at nothing when I heard Silas shout.

“Are you listening, did you hear what I said, Natty?”

I spun around, tears gathering again.

His jaw clenched, “Did you hear what I said? I’ll be back, Garrison and Lance will be watching you. You’ll be safe. I need to keep you safe.”

“Right. Just like you had to let me stay safe after I was traded to this club.” I don’t know why I said it. The situation was out of his control, and I hadn’t told him the devastating truth of what had happened but a part of me was still bitter that I had to take that truth and swallow it as if it were a shard of glass.

Silas glared, as though I were now one of his enemies. He’d never looked at me like that before. “I couldn’t simply walk back in here and take you back…it would have started a war.”

Another laugh tumbled from my mouth as tears traced a path down my face. “You waged nothing but war over your father all our lives. You were designed to start them, endure them and end them. Regardless of that, if you were waiting to avoid an incident with The Stone Riders and The Death Raiders, you could have when you became president months ago. Once you killed Dirk, you could have made the decision to come for me. You had the manpower and the numbers….but you never did.”

Silas moved toward the door, and I felt like something was separating from my body as I watched him go. I couldn’t do it again. I wouldn’t.

“If you walk out that door, we’re over.” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me, painfully aware that I was about to break my own heart.

Silas didn’t bend to anyone’s will, including mine.

The silence in the room grew uncomfortable. My hope had grown long, tattered wings like something from the deep. A dark place made up of broken dreams and loneliness. I held my breath, waiting…

“Tu meus es sol, luna mea. Vitam meam. Revertar ad te.” You are my sun, my moon. My life. I will come back for you.

With that, the door opened and closed on a whisper.

I spun around, my eyes watering as I stared at the floor. A familiar ache unfurling in my core. I knew Silas had men outside my door, keeping me safe but it didn’t erase old trauma.

With a shaky breath, I walked over to my closet and turned on the light. There, under a false floorboard, I stared at my past. Photos of a younger Silas holding a frog bigger than his head. An image of him writing in a journal, testing his ability to write poetry because he’d grown addicted to it. My eyes trailed over the two hand guns, boxes of ammo and letters I’d gathered throughout the span of time I’d been separated from Silas.

My fingers trailed gingerly and ever so carefully over the leather jacket with the Grim Reaper stitched into the back. Printed in white, circular text:

Property of Silas Silva

The Roman

Options were never set before me, they’d always been taken. Removed. I was merely shoved into a corner, a tower, some place to be kept safe. My mouth sealed to prevent a war, while ignoring the battle that raged in my heart.

I broke when I arrived in this club. Repaired only by kindness, friendship, independence, and this great hope that I’d be back with Silas. I was tired.

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