Page 125 of Where We Ended

I let out a laugh as I smiled at the pond below us.

“What rests on me?”

“How quiet you can be.”

This was ridiculous. “I’m so much better at this than you are, I don’t need to?—”

Natty placed her palm over my mouth as a loud croak emanated from below the dock.

“He’s down there. You need to get in the pond and swim below the dock.”

I shook my head as Rook pulled my lips up and laughed when he finally saw my teeth.

“I’m not swimming down there.”

Natty’s mouth dropped open. “You have to.”

“Why me?”

I hated the pond water. Especially this time of year, there was way too much algae.

My wife scoffed, while crossing her arms, which pushed up her cleavage.

“You can—” She glanced at Rook and then covered his ears. “Fuck me in a cornfield, but not swim in this pond?”

She removed her hands, but Rook started reaching for her again.

“How else are we supposed to teach him how to properly hunt for frogs?”

“Maybe we can make a pond on a much smaller scale at home, like in a kiddie pool.”

Natty looked away for a second, listening most likely to another bullfrog when suddenly Rook ran out of my arms, darting behind us.

We both turned, and I jumped up, but Rook was crouched down next to a little frog. His little hands reached down, pulling it up, and both Natty and I were so excited when all the sudden he tossed the frog as hard as he could into the pond.

“Rook Alec Silva,” Natty yelled, coming over to scoop him up.

I tossed my head laughing and feeling a tightness in my chest at the reminder of my brother. Funny enough, tossing a frog into a lake was something he’d do.

I watched as my wife picked up our son, and she soothingly talked to him about being gentle with the frogs, and my heart felt like it shifted. I’d been removed from the darkness my life seemed to carry for so long, for two long years. I was a peaceful farmer now, with a wife and son at home.

Our evenings consisted of taking walks through the orchard. Reading poetry by the fire. Knitting squids that still resembled penises, and baking while listening to loud music. Our home was full of laughter, happiness and joy.

It was more joy than I could have ever imagined.

I thought back to what Natty had said to me when I asked what I could do to help get past the idea of her being hurt by Dirk all those years. Natty had told me to dig for my own sunshine and to let it come through. I took that seriously and have worked every day since on making sure my wife sees that brightness in me.

I felt like perhaps I had finally buried my demons, since there was no longer any reason for me to live in that fear that had outlined so much of my life.

“Okay, I give up. This was a terrible idea. I keep panicking about him jumping in and landing on a log that’s underwater. I’ll just teach him in Pen’s pond where it’s much less natural.”

I picked up my son, who had two rocks he was clicking together, and started walking back through the grove.

“We have to get back anyway and prep for dinner with your mom. She’s coming over before she leaves for Alaska.”

My mother and I had come to an elusive understanding. Some part of me would never completely forgive her for keeping me from Natty for two years and for not telling me about Dirk, but she was still my mom, so I made sure she was welcomed in our lives.

She was an amazing grandma to Rook, and to Ford, Callie’s little guy. After Simon passed, she remained planted in all our lives, as if he hadn’t. We all saw the grief she processed and worked through, but Dempsey found his way back into her life, and Natty and I both couldn’t be happier for her.

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