Page 111 of Where We Ended

I hummed, feeling tired, sad and happy all at once. The grief over Red, Alec and Brooks was a knife prick against my sternum, refusing to let up or go away but seeing this place, and how settled Silas was, I’d only ever hoped he’d find a place like this.

Silas hesitated, pushing some of my hair back. “Do you like it?”

My eyes slid shut, as a smile slipped free.

“It’s better than anything I ever hoped for…would you…” I stopped, suddenly feeling nervous. “Could I stay here with you?”

His soft chuckle was firelight against my exposed neck. “Yes, Caelum. This is yours. All I am is yours, including this cottage.”

“So you’ve been up here, on top of my town, just watching over me like a dark shadow?”

Slow strokes started against my stomach as he kissed my ear.

“Two years, I’ve never been more than five miles from you.”

Pain radiated like a webbed piece of glass, forcing my eyes shut and sleep to claim me.

The next morning was gray and full of clouds that snuffed out the sun. It felt fitting for my mood. Silas had brought me coffee in bed, and I realized I didn’t have the energy to leave it. I was sad.

So sad that tears trailed my face, leaving a cold sting behind.

I sipped the coffee, then closed my eyes and fell back asleep.

Silas would wake me for meals. But I wouldn’t eat them.

I wasn’t trying to be difficult; I just didn’t have an appetite. When I slept, I saw Alec’s gray eyes right before he stopped living. The way he talked about me one day living a life he’d never be a part of, one where he didn’t get to meet his niece or nephew, one where he didn’t get to fall out of love with me, and just be the friend he’d always been to me.

I’d see Red’s face as we laughed about playing charades. Her hands moving as she rolled out dough. Brooks grease-stained fingers as he helped me tune up my secret bike that no one was supposed to know about.

I’d see things that had knit invisible pieces of hope inside my heart, creating a snapshot for when their presence evaded this world. All that would be left would be those pieces of hope, stuck in our heart like chunks of forever.

Silas stroked my hair as I drifted off again, and I realized it was dark and an entire day had passed. I closed my eyes and let it drift away.

The following day began without Silas checking on me. Eventually my bladder had me leaving the bed. Once I relieved myself, I shuffled out of the room. Still in the shirt Silas gave me, my hair a wreck as I searched the cottage for my husband.

A note was left behind for me, indicating he was working the orchard.

A fluttering sensation started in my stomach. He’d become a peaceful man…a farmer, and I had yet to see him in action.

I turned around, located my clothes that Silas must have washed for me, and dressed.

Then I went in search of the orchard.

Sunshine soaked the world, doting on all the trees. I covered my eyes with my hand as I walked past the enclosed yard, and back down the path Silas had initially driven up. There were white buckets abandoned every few yards or so. I grabbed one and began walking with it, still no idea where Silas was until I saw yellow and remembered lemons.

I found my husband wearing a white, gaping Henley with the sleeves shoved up to his forearms, brown gloves were on his hands. Thick canvas jeans covered his legs, and work boots replaced the motorcycle boots I’d always seen him in. There was also a black ball cap on his head, covering his hair and helping protect his eyes from the sun.

The sight of him…it was like a searing piece of metal plunged into my gut and swiped around. Was this what he meant when he said he’d begun to fall in love with me all over again? Because it was starting to feel that way as I watched him gently pulling a lemon free and tossing it down to a bucket; I felt like I was seeing him for the first time and completely in love already.

“Hi,” he said, looking down at me.

I realized I was just staring at him.

“Hi.”

“Lunch?”

How late was it?

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