Page 82 of Where We Ended

“Why do I have to live without those things in order to be with you?”

“Because all I bring is death, Natty, and I want you to live. I think you want to live too, and that’s good. You deserve to.” He pulled me in and kissed the top of my head.

I still felt like he was trying to say goodbye, but I couldn’t work out exactly how he was going to say it. If he would just leave me in the middle of the night, or what he’d do, but my chest already ached with the memory of how the last time he’d left ruined me so thoroughly and how, to this day, he still did not know what had actually happened.

Maybe it was finally time he did.

TWENTY-ONE

NATTY

AGE TWENTY-FIVE

It was late when I made my way back to the house. Later than I ever dared previously, but Sasha had texted me Dirk was gone, along with his captains and inner circle of Raiders. So I had opted in to do a later shift at the diner.

Most of the other women in the club worked at Strings, the local strip club, but Silas would burn it down before he allowed anyone to see me dance there. I understood it, but damn they made good tips. Much better than I made down at the Steakhouse.

Being able to work a little later than usual helped, which meant I finally had enough saved up for a new place in Rose Ridge. I knew Sasha and Silas would hate this idea, but I hated Pyle, and Rose Ridge was the next closest town that would allow us to stay close enough for Silas to attend club required events.

That was assuming he’d want to come with me.

The wound from two years ago when I’d told him where I spent my Christmas, and with who, was still a strain between us. I had never seen Silas so hurt when I explained through sobs that I’d spent the night in his brother’s arms.

Words burned my tongue to explain that it was more than just being lonely. I wanted to tell him about Dirk, and how afraid I’d grown of the leader. How I felt like my every move was being stalked and hunted. If I told him, he’d kill Dirk or try to, and then he’d be killed.

So Silas had slipped back into traveling, being gone. When he came back, he’d hold me, fuck me and we’d fall back into the same roles we always had before, but I could feel the tension between us.

I’d broken him when I’d gone to his brother for support, and while it had been two years, it seemed like he couldn’t fully move past it. Regardless that he said he forgave me, and he must have because he never went after Alec.

I hadn’t spoken to the man since that night….except for one solitary time. The following morning, I had spent Christmas with my husband’s brother, and then I drove back to Pyle. Silas came home a day later, and I confessed what I’d done. After that, things were dust and ash between us. There and tangible but decaying.

Now, he was slowly breaking me by not returning to me like he once did. Silas had been gone now for three months, and I was dying to know where he was, and what he was doing. Sasha wasn’t much help.

So it left me with little options but to dream of a fresh start. Away from this place, and these walls that had been both my home and prison since I was a child.

My plan was to make Silas dinner, assuming he came home within the next few weeks, and explain how he could live in Rose Ridge despite the fact that it was rival territory. I didn’t know anything about the Stone Riders, but after hearing about Simon Stone offering up so much to save his daughter, it made me feel as though the city would be a safe option.

There was the cutest little white cottage on the outskirts of town, by the old highway that I had been looking at. If we moved there, we wouldn’t even be within city limits technically. It had these overextended windows that popped out, with window seats built in. There wasn’t a yard that I could see, just all dead grass, and no trees. But maybe I could plant, and help a few things grow.

I had images from the real estate website folded and tucked into my wallet. On my lunch breaks, I’d take it out and stare at it, drawing ideas of where I would put things. The rental agreement already came through, and with the last of my tips tonight, I had six months of rent saved up. If I could get Silas on board with moving with me then I was sure he had funds he’d be happy to pitch in. He was always leaving me wads of cash when he went on runs.

He didn’t know that I’d been saving it all for my little cottage fund.

“Sasha?” I called out, shutting the door with my foot and flipping the lock.

I had no idea if she was home, but if Dirk was gone then I assumed she would be as well. Any respite she ever had from that man; she would take. Regardless that he now favored torturing me when he tired of Sasha or any of his other women.

The lights were still off, but my hands were full of the two bags of groceries I’d purchased on the way home. Setting them down on the counter, I assumed Sasha wasn’t home since she hadn’t answered, but as soon as I turned, I heard the click of a lighter.

The very blood in my veins froze as the voice in the dark echoed through the room.

“Just me, little Fawn.”

Terror had an interesting way of arresting me and engaging my flight or fight instincts. When Dirk came for me, I immobilized completely. I didn’t consider what weapons were near me, or where the exits were.

I just froze.

I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat, but the knot began to swell. If Dirk was in the house, it meant he was here for me. It didn’t matter that I wore the property patch for Silas. Dirk didn’t care. I was a toy to him, and he dangled and played with me as he saw fit. Always terrorizing me, just enough so I was still intact when Silas returned.

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