Page 74 of Where We Promise

“Jamie,” I whispered, leaning forward, trying to understand how he’d managed to reserve a table at one of what seemed like the nicest bars in the city. My gaze snagged on the city below, and the river that cut through it, how it looked like liquid starlight from here. Just then I realized there were a ton of stars overhead too, not dimmed by the rooftop lights.

“I had them cut out a third of the lights, so we could see the stars,” Jamie said, ducking his face as if it embarrassed him that he’d thought of something so considerate. I was slightly speechless for a second before just blurting.

“Why are you torturing me with all this?”

His brown eyes slid up to me, a wild expression crossing his features, as if I’d just told him I had fifteen toes instead of ten.

“Torturing you?”

Leaning closer, I explained, “yes, you’re torturing me by showing me how good I could have had it. I get it, Jamie, you’re amazing. I missed out but you can scale it back. I know this isn’t real and what we did earlier was likely still about my hormones, which explains why we didn’t fuck, but I just—” I tried to gather my thoughts, but they felt frayed, too disfigured and undone to even touch. “It’s hard to experience all this knowing it’s so temporary.”

His brows drew in, his gaze slowly drifting down to the tablecloth, but before he could respond, the server returned with our drinks and to take our order. Once we were alone again, Jamie began sliding his chair back.

“Do you know we never danced at our wedding reception?”

I looked up at him. “It was?—”

“Fake. I know.” He shook his head and reached for my hand. “Maybe I want to treat you like you’re my wife because I think that’s what you deserve. I told you a long time ago, Penelope, if you were mine, things would be different for you.”

He lifted my hand, and I stood in front of him, tears gleaming in my eyes.

“So, wife, dance with me.”

My arms slid up to his shoulders as his came around my back, and suddenly there were violins playing through the speakers. The sound was soft, and immediately had a smile cresting my face. “This was what I walked down the aisle to.”

His nose brushed against my ear as he hummed. “What’s it from?”

My lips spread again as a laugh bubbled inside me. “Have you ever heard of Bridgerton?”

It was his turn to laugh. “Thought I recognized one of those songs.”

“They’re all covers.”

“So, you enjoy historical romance tv shows with a contemporary twist. I know you love wildflowers, and you’re one hell of a photographer. What else have I missed over these past few years?”

My feet barely moved, but my heart seemed to freefall.

“You mean while you were ignoring me?”

He didn’t answer, but his back felt as if he’d stopped breathing under my palms.

When he finally did respond, his voice was quiet. “I was never ignoring you, Pen.”

“Then what were you doing?” I leaned back to see his eyes, because the answer to one of my deepest questions that had plagued me for years would surely be resting in them.

His brown eyes flicked over my face, landing on my lips.

“Surviving.”

The scoff that left my chest was all pain. Agony over losing the one person who had become like my best friend. The one who I had always secretly loved, but never felt good enough for.

“Surviving what? A life without me, because it sure seemed like you were happy out there on your own, away from me.”

“You made your choice with Luke, I wasn’t going to get in the middle of that, especially after our past.”

My rage was palpable, and I hadn’t even noticed we’d stopped dancing. We just held each other under the stars, joined in marriage, yet a chasm remained between us.

“Why not? You never fought for me, not once. You just led me on, toyed with me only to let me go, and then when I finally moved on, you let Luke take me. How come you didn’t fight?”

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