Page 79 of Where We Promise

I wanted Jameson but I had completely forgotten I’d had this class today, since we’d just gotten back the night before from our trip, and I hadn’t seen him to ask if he’d want to go. There was also the little issue of him not responding to my question from dinner the other night.

Why hadn’t he fought for me?

He obviously had feelings for me, consistent ones from the sounds of it, and yet he never started anything, he never made a move…he never tried, and the first time Luke even tiptoed into the picture, it was like Jamie just gave up.

The reminder of the phone call I’d gotten right after class slammed into me once more. Cold and harsh, leaving a trail of dread in its wake.

It started with a text from an unfamiliar number.

How have you been, Pen?

My gut swarmed with nerves as I considered who it might be, my assumption being Luke. I ignored it.

Then another text came in.

I really need to talk to you.

Again, I had ignored it because even if Luke had started reaching out, I absolutely would not be talking to him.

After class, I saw that I’d had three missed calls and right as I was checking one came through as I walked to my car. Once I slid inside and shut the door, I answered.

“Hello?”

A hesitant pause and then, “hey Pen, it’s Luke.”

“I know it’s you, asshole!” I had screamed.

He paused again.

“How are you doing?”

I laughed, with my whole chest until tears started streaming down my face. “How am I doing? You’re asking me how I’m doing?”

I didn’t give him a chance to respond.

“I’m angry, Luke. I’m hurt and alone. I’m pregnant with your kid, in case you forgot. I’m due in a little over a week because he’s measuring early and so fucking big that they’re worried about having to do a C-section. I can’t sleep because I have such bad heartburn, and I have to pee every five seconds. My ankles hurt. I can’t work, so I have no money. I have nothing for this baby. I moved to a new city, with a new club that were rivals with us just a year ago. I’m scared, and you rejected me, Luke. In the worst possible way, so why the fuck are you asking me how I’m doing?”

“Jesus, Pen. I just wanted to test the waters; thought asking how you were would be a good way to start.”

“Well, now you know.”

He let out a sigh, as if I were inconveniencing him. “I know it’s my kid, and even if I’m not ready to be a dad, it’s my responsibility. So, I can send some money, make sure you get what you need for the baby. Would that be okay?”

“How would you send it, Luke?” I knew for a fact he only had cash from brokering illegal deals, which meant the money wouldn’t be going into a bank. The clubs didn’t have one they trusted, so only their funds made through club-run businesses went into the bank. Whatever he’d done with Jefferson would be cash.

“I have money, Pen. A fuck ton of it after a deal we just made.”

I scoffed, knowing he had no clue how the club actually ran its money or how they worked those larger deals. It wouldn’t do any good to tell him either. “You and your new friend, Jefferson, the guy who killed some of your brothers?”

The memory of hearing those gunshots from Miles’ house still made my blood chill. It was partly why I had such a difficult time sleeping. Jefferson had walked in, put a few bullets in a few heads, and then seized the club. Jamie had arrived only minutes later, sneaking in through my back door, telling me to pack my things, as much as I could, and that we had to leave right then.

Luke paused for a long time. “I have money I can give you.”

“I don’t want your fucking money, Luke. I want nothing from you.”

“Well, it’s still my kid, so…” he argued, and I nearly threw my phone.

“I have to go.”

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