Page 64 of Where We Promise

My gaze flicked briefly to Natty.

“Please tell her I said thank you,” I whispered, gripping the gorgeous flowers.

Red took my face in her hands and laid a gentle kiss to my forehead.

“Your mother would be proud, sweet girl. I may not have known her, but I know she would have cried seeing how beautiful you look.”

Burning clogged my throat as tears begged to be freed, but I gripped her wrist affectionally to hold them off. She released me and stepped back. We were in one of the extra activity rooms at the senior center, mercifully no one had mentioned the odd smell, or how outdated the carpet was. I would be walking across laminate tile that had blue tape still laid down for different dance positions. The metal folding chairs did little to add any sort of beauty to the room Natty, Callie and Laura tried so hard to decorate.

There was an arch made of white lattice that had a few paper lanterns and flowers, but otherwise, there weren’t any decorations to speak of. It was fine. This wasn’t even real, and since the night when Jamie had mentioned us using each other being a bad idea, we’d barely spoken. He had to leave for something that next morning and was gone until early dawn. He’d asked me to stay over with Natty and because Killian and Wes were with him, Callie and Laura had come over too.

It ended up being a fun girls’ night. Something the group had dubbed an unofficial bachelorette party. I had rolled my eyes, reminding them that this was fake, but they’d merely waved me off and told me to let them have their fun. Fun we all knew had to be in Natty’s room, or over in Laura’s apartment instead of going into town, or to a bar. With the men gone, we’d be a liability, and with Callie and me being pregnant, staying in sounded perfectly fine to us.

Anytime Laura and Callie got into their own conversation, Natty would pull me into one, so I never felt left out. It was easy, laughing and joking with them. Being myself. They understood the club life, and what it was like to be with someone who wasn’t just a random member. They were kind, loyal and protective. I was honored to watch them precede me down the aisle as my bridesmaids.

I had no money to buy anything for them, but they each found a deep purple dress and wore a few wildflowers in their hair. Soft violins played over the speaker system as I emerged from the activity room, and while I planned to walk down the aisle alone, Harris was suddenly standing there in a black suit. He wasn’t wearing a tie and his beard hadn’t been trimmed in the slightest, but he was there…smiling at me, with those warm brown eyes.

“Penny, it would be my honor to walk you down the aisle…if that’s okay with you.”

I’d had tears near the surface all day, but seeing him there…his kindness, it nearly undid me. With a raspy voice, I agreed and slid my arm into his extended elbow.

He led me down the hall, slow and steady. Like everyone in the world was waiting on us, but time was ours to waste.

“May not be all the things you hoped for, but you look beautiful and this right here, this moment doesn’t determine how your marriage, or your life will look. Plenty of people been together for fifty years and never even say a single vow, others had expensive weddings with all the pricey options and didn’t last a year. Life is what you make of it, Penny. This is your life, that peanut’s and now, Jameson’s,” Harris whispered as we walked then squeezed my arm tight before we came into the ceremony area.

Everyone stood as I approached and turned to face me, but my gaze went to the front.

My heart did a tiny flip, then my baby kicked as if he felt it in his tiny chest too.

There, under the arch stood Jameson in a slate gray, five-piece suit, looking like he’d just stepped out of a magazine. Not dark jeans or a dark shirt, like most club weddings often had…he’d worn something much nicer than this rented space deemed fit.

He dressed like this was real…not like it was a haphazard way of trying to keep me safe.

Those tears glimmered in my eyes as I began walking down the aisle to him. Men and women filled the folding chairs, wearing nice dress shirts, jeans, and cuts. There were flowers brushing against the train of my dress, gliding behind me in a silent whisper.

Jameson’s eyes seemed to grow as I neared, his mouth parted, and then he froze.

His light hair was combed back, his light beard was trimmed nicely, revealing the line of his defined jaw. His amber eyes seemed to darken as he traced every part of me. My hair, face, cleavage, and belly. That jaw seemed to stay unhinged until I was nearly right in front of him.

The officiant, who came free with the rental of the senior center, began reading from his Bible about holy matrimony and vows. Things too pure for the life we lived, and surely for Jameson and me, who were imposters playing pretend. Still, I smiled and let each word soak into my soul, branding it with things I wanted to keep. No one had to ever know that these words weren’t really for me, or that I’d keep them forever as if they were. One day Jameson would walk away from me, but until then, he was mine to keep, and I wanted every single piece of him.

As I stepped across from Jamie, accepting his outstretched hand, I watched his expressions. They were open at first, like mine…hopeful, excited, and then as it came time to say our vows, we’d planned to just say whatever the officiant told us to say, but Jameson stopped him.

“Actually, I have prepared my own vows.” His eyes searched mine as if he were seeking permission.

I waited, resisting the urge to bite down on my trembling lip or look over at the woman sitting in the front row of the groom’s side. Jameson had invited his mother, which seemed so…impossible. If this was fake, then why bring her into this? Her eyes glimmered with tears as she watched, and I had the urge to rest a hand over my stomach as if to ask a silent question of whether or not she knew I had been knocked up by Luke Holloway.

Jameson stepped closer, tightening his hold on me, which had my focus stolen completely by his warm brown eyes. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be outside at night, under the stars, and preferably in a field of wildflowers. Your mom was supposed to be there and my dad…and it was supposed to be years ago when I had you all to myself. I take the blame, Penny. I always will, but you’ll have to agree to take my name and give me time to fix all of it. Because I promise I will, Pen. I promise that I’m in this until the end.”

His words were dusted hope clinging to forgotten places. Dried, smashed wildflowers doused in wishes. Love so blinding and hopeful. My eyes watered, but just as quickly as a smile formed, it fell as Jameson cut a quick glance over to the guests. Specifically, where his Chaos Kings were seated, and my heart gave a pathetic lurch.

This was for them…for show. To keep me safe, he’d stretch this lie and wrap it around our narrative until it convinced people that I was his and under his protection. What better way to sell this ruse than to convince everyone our love story started years ago?

I dipped my face to hide my hurt and let him continue. His finger trapped my chin and I felt it wobble under his warm touch. How could he say things tainted so thick with our past but not mean a single word of it? He said more, but I wasn’t listening, the hurt too vast to allow any more of those sacred vows to crowd the space in my heart the moment had stolen just seconds ago.

When it was my turn to repeat the standard vows from the officiant, I did as Jamie had done and halted him.

“I have my own vows as well,” I lied, squeezing Jamie’s hand.

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