Page 60 of Where We Promise

I couldn’t.

Not when all I wanted was for this to be real between us. But this…this sliver of space in-between would have to be enough. I’d settle for it if it meant I finally got to experience her.

My fingers twisted the bed spread into a tight knot as I watched her take me again and again, lifting enough to slowly lap at the tip. With her pink lips wrapped around it, and her big blue eyes on me, she looked like sin and stardust. All midnight hair and fucking porcelain perfection.

“I’m going to come, Pen.” My voice nearly cracked from how badly I wanted to touch her. She took that as an opportunity to take me deeper until she was choking on my length. Right as she pulled up, sucking as she went, I exploded.

“Shiiiiiiiittttt.” My hands came up, gripping the back of her head and holding her in place as I lifted my hips, fucking her throat the last few strokes as I filled her mouth with my release.

Her eyes were watering, and tiny pieces of cum slipped from the sides of her mouth, but I used my thumb to grab them and smear them along her lips.

I whispered with half-lidded eyes, “Show me you swallowed it all like a good girl, Pen.”

She opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue to show me that yes, she’d swallowed every drop. Then she used her tongue to swipe up the extra I’d smeared on her lips. With a smile and a moan, she had me nearly hard again.

I stroked her chin, pressing my thumb into her bottom lip. “So fucking beautiful.”

Her eyes moved over my face, as her hands remained on my thighs, and this was the moment I had to let go because if I pulled her up, forced her onto all fours, and then fucked her, it would ruin this. She’d run, we’d never get married, and I’d be chasing her to fuck knew where. I needed her safe. So I let her go and tilted my head back.

“Fuck, Pen. This was such a bad idea.”

My eyes came back down to where she was on the floor in time to see the playful, sensual gleam in her eyes fade. It was like she’d opened herself up and then I’d tossed a bomb inside her chest and now I was telling her it was her fault. She started to get up, and I held a hand to her.

“I didn’t mean?—”

She slipped past me. “I know what you meant. It’s fine.” She went into the bathroom and shut the door.

I fell back on the bed and threw my arm over my eyes.

All I’d ever wanted was her in my bed, on her knees…and I’d just fuc?—

“If you think for one second that you’re going to go back to sleeping on the floor, you’re mistaken.” Penelope stormed out of the bathroom in one of my t-shirts.

Motherfucking hell, she looked so fucking good in my t-shirt. My mouth fell slightly open as I watched her walk over, fluff her pillow and rip at the comforter, which prompted me to get up.

Her face was flushed, her hair had been brushed and was down, her nipples were visible through the white, sheer fabric.

“I am grateful that you helped me tonight, Jameson. All I wanted was to repay the favor. I didn’t ask for a sonnet, or a poem, or a declaration of love.” She aggressively fluffed the pillow again before sliding under the covers. “I just wanted to help you how you helped me, that was it.”

Standing frozen on the opposite side of the bed, I watched as her anger bubbled and snapped the air like a whip of lightning.

“You always act like I’m some starstruck idiot, always screwing up. I didn’t ask for you to fake propose or give me a fake cut, or parade me around and kiss me all the time. I didn’t ask for any of this. I was faithful to Luke. I waited, and you didn’t want me. You?—”

She stopped mid-sentence, staring at the ceiling, her lip trembling.

There were words I wanted to say, but I knew now wasn’t the time to say them. She needed to vent, and she needed me to sleep next to her, so she didn’t feel rejected.

So I clicked off the lamp, pulled the covers back, and slid into bed.

“We have cleaners for this very reason.” Killian glared at the dirt on his boots, and the muck all over his gloves.

The shovel stuck as I forced it into the ground. The fog hung dense as the midnight air cloaked our group. Killian, Wes, Giles, Brick--that’s all I currently trusted at the moment, which was a sad testament to my current life situation. I wanted to check my phone, itched to see if Pen was okay, but I trusted Harris, and knew she was safe staying in the club with Callie, Laura and Natty.

We’d barely spoken at all when we woke up, mostly because I was out the door almost immediately. I had a shit ton of planning and prep to attend to so we could make this happen. She hadn’t texted or said anything, but I knew she was pissed at me. Before I left, I pulled her in and hugged her. We stood like that for several minutes while I breathed her in. I’d told her I was sorry and that I was an idiot then I promised we’d talk later.

“Don’t trust your cleaning crew, Quinn,” I muttered, wishing again that we could have brought our phones. But when we loaded up in the truck, our phones all had to stay behind. Nothing traceable.

“You sure no one will ever know we did this?” Brick asked nervously as he eyed the grave we’d just exhumed.

---