Page 51 of Where We Promise

“You’re nineteen…what do you mean you haven’t?”

I sat up on my elbows as he withdrew. “Just hasn’t happened for me.”

He was on one knee, in between my spread legs.

“But you look like—” He scanned me from head to toe. “That.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that except to assume he meant I looked halfway decent.

“I haven’t really dated since high school…”

Jamie just continued to watch me like I was an exotic animal, but after a few seconds, he blew out a heavy sigh.

“Fuck, we can’t do this then.”

Moving off the bed, my shirt fell as I followed. “Why not, I’m willing…if you wanted, then I would?—”

My face flushed as I tried not to sound like I was begging him to fuck me.

Jameson shook his head. “This was just for tonight. You’re going back to your life…I just needed a release, Pen.”

Hurt so raw and untethered, smothered me. I practically deflated back to the bed as I registered his words.

“Oh.”

He watched me, that odd frown in place as his jaw tensed and untensed.

“I mean, you are going back, right?”

My eyes were on the floor as I nodded. I had a good job, and my photography was starting to get noticed.

Jamie turned away from me and faced the dresser. “Good. You should go back…there’s nothing for you here.”

I knew that. Deep down, this would never work…I wanted to keep attending college and see how far I could go with this new venture. I didn’t want to be near the club, or the members. I didn’t want this.

But I wanted him.

“What is this?” Jamie asked from some place near my desk.

I hadn’t really emptied everything from my room, some things from my high school years were still here. I moved from the bed, willing the burning behind my eyes to stay in place so not a single tear would fall.

“This isn’t…” Jamie’s voice trailed off, and once I finally peered around his shoulders, I saw why.

He spun, holding the small piece of wood. “This is the carving I was doing that night you threw it across the garage.”

My feet shifted so I was next to him, gently taking the wood from his hand. “It was starting to look like a raven. I imagined it was, anyway. I wanted to find someone who could finish it, then give it back to you as a gift…but I never did…here, take it back.”

I handed it back to him, his finger trailed over the small head, and the beginnings of the beak. “Why did you keep it?”

I shrugged. “Because I was in love with you, and I wanted to have something of yours.”

His eyes snapped quickly to mine. “You were in love with me?”

Heat swarmed my chest, infusing my face, making me lower it. Jamie’s finger trapped my chin, lifting it up. “I hate when you do that. You’re too beautiful to lower your face, Pen. It’s a shame to hide it in any capacity at any time.”

Why did he have to be so sweet? He’d just broken my heart.

“…You were about to tell me how you were in love with me.”

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