Page 27 of Dear Grumpy Boss

Dear Mr. Aldrich,

I don’t hate elephants. Only a sociopath would hate them. I’d simply rather not receive Post-its with facts on them anymore. Isn’t that a waste of company resources?

Indifferently,

Elise

I growled to myself. Elise was fifteen feet from me, typing away on her computer like I wasn’t in the room. She’d spent years ignoring my existence from afar, but up close was harder to deal with.

To:[email protected]

From:[email protected]

Dear Ms. Levy,

Is it the Post-its that offend you or the elephant facts?

Please note I requested you not address me as Mr. Aldrich. I’m neither a stranger nor old enough for it to be required.

Thoughtfully,

Weston

She stopped typing and used her mouse to click on my email. It only took a second for her lips to purse and her forehead to crinkle. Then she started typing again, and a thrill shot up my spine, anticipating what she would send next.

To:[email protected]

From:[email protected]

Dear Boss,

The only thing I’m offended by are the trees being chopped down to make the Post-its you wasted.

Do your investors know all the time you spend googling elephants?

I have a lot of work to finish. If that’s all…

Busily,

Elise

I tapped out my reply, vowing it was the last one. I had to retreat to my office to get actual work done. There was no chance it would be happening here, where distractions abounded.

To:[email protected]

From:[email protected]

Dear Elise,

Please note my objection to being addressed simply as “Boss.” You could be addressing anyone, as it is not specific to me.

You’ll be pleased to know all the paper used at Andes, Inc. is 100% recycled. No trees were harmed in the writing of said Post-its.

Environmentally,

Weston

Elise continued typing for several minutes. The entire time, my eyes flicked from her to my screen. I nearly gave up and retreated to my office when my email notification lit up.

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