Page 89 of All Your Pucking Secrets

I swallow. “So I found a guy who was in some of your classes and who was on a sports scholarship and needed financial help, and I paid him to keep an eye on you.”

Her eyes are flat. “Ryan.”

“Yeah.”

I search her face, looking for a trace of the sparkle from before, but it’s gone. Instead, she seems weary to her bones.

“I’m sorry.” I squeeze her hand, but she pulls it away. “I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

Saying I was worried is an understatement. I was frantic when I realized that Echo would be attending university on a different coast than me—thanks, Dad—and without any friends or even her mother around for in-person support.

I guess she wanted a fresh start, but she was so vulnerable.

“Was our whole friendship fake then?” she asks dully. “Was it all an act to get close to me so you’d keep sending him money?”

I wish I could take her into my arms, but the way she’s holding herself screams to keep my distance.

You’re breaking my heart, baby.

“It wasn’t fake.” Although I doubt she’ll believe me. “I didn’t ask Ryan to be your friend. He did that himself because he liked you. It wasn’t part of our arrangement.”

She sniffs. “I bet it was convenient though.”

Well, yeah. But I’m not stupid enough to admit that.

“And how flattering to know that Ryan genuinely wanted to be friends with the pathetic girl who needed someone to be paid to take care of her.” She turns toward me and raises one shaking hand to her mouth. “How much does he know?”

“Nothing. Only what you’ve told him.” Or what he may have guessed. He’s an observant guy. I’d be willing to bet he’s put some of the pieces together.

She stands up, her gaze fixed on the door.

“Wait.” I lurch upright and block her path. “Please, let’s just take a few minutes to talk it through.”

She crosses her arms and scowls. “A lack of talking seems to be one of our problems. Or at least, a lack of you sharing things I really ought to know.”

“I did it out of fear.” I hook my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans because, otherwise, I’ll reach for her, and that would only be courting rejection. “I planned to tell you. I’ve already spoken to Ryan and let him know that I meant to come clean. I just…”

I hang my head. There’s really no explanation. I should have told her already. I was just enjoying the fragile new connection between us too much to risk breaking it, and that was selfish of me.

Echo purses her lips. “Whatever your reasons were, I can’t help feeling like you’ve been manipulating every part of my life.”

“I—” Was. I totally was.

“You made the decision to end our relationship without my input, you apparently hired me an attorney after the rape, you made a deal with your dad that landed me a scholarship at a university far from yours, and then you kept influencing my life through Ryan even though our relationship was over.”

I slump. “That’s all true.” There’s no denying it. “Maybe it’s messed up, but I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have good role models for what love or a healthy relationship looks like, but I’ve been doing my best to protect you and give you what you want.”

She arches her eyebrows. “Did you, or did you not, buy me a friend?”

“I didn’t.” Hoping she doesn’t take the opportunity to push past me, I swipe my phone screen and hit the Call icon beside Ryan’s name.

He answers almost immediately. “Hey.”

“Ryan, I have Echo on speakerphone. She knows about our arrangement. Can you please tell her the truth about what you think of her?”

“Echo?” he asks cautiously.

“Yes,” she snaps.

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