Page 6 of All Your Pucking Secrets

“How’s Echo?” he asks as I pull out the stool beside him and sit on it.

“Not great.”

The barista approaches, and I order an americano and slip him some cash.

“About as well as you thought, or worse?” Ryan asks. “It was fucking scary seeing how she reacted to you. Do you really think that was the best way to let her know you’re here?”

I wince. Yeah, that wasn’t my finest moment.

“I didn’t realize she’d have a panic attack,” I say.

I’m aware she’s seeing a therapist, but I have no idea what her symptoms are, what they discuss, or whether she has a mental health diagnosis. My money only buys me so much access.

“Worse than you thought, then,” he huffs. If he weren’t such a nice guy, he might let me have it. But he is, so he doesn’t. That’s the problem with nice guys. They have no follow-through.

Fortunately, I’ve never had that problem.

“You should probably check on her after you leave here,” I tell him, because while I’m not a nice guy, Echo is one of the few things I actually care about. Not that I’ve done a great job of showing it.

“I will.”

He sounds offended by the implication that he needs me to tell him so. Perhaps he thinks it should be obvious, but I never like to take anything for granted. Especially not when it comes to her.

Ryan hesitates, then adds, “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

I scowl and narrow my eyes. “Have I ever given you any reason to think I don’t?”

“No. But so much time has passed since you dated. You’re probably different people now than you were then. The connection might not still be there.”

“It is,” I grind out. “She may have changed, and I sure as hell hope I have, but my feelings for her haven’t. I lost her once, and I won’t do it again.”

Losing Echo tore me apart. If not for the knowledge that, one day, I’d be free to pursue her again, I might not have had any reason to go on. Those days were dark. And yeah, my behavior may have caused the darkness, but when you’re raised the way I was, it’s hard to see the light.

Ryan holds out his hands defensively. “I get it, man. I get it.”

Good, because if Ryan decided to get in my way, he’d regret it. Only one monster terrified me enough to keep me away from Echo, and now that he’s gone, I won’t allow anything or anyone else to interfere with our relationship.

“But how do you plan to win her over?” he asked. “‘Cause from where I’m sitting, it looks like she wants less than nothing to do with you.”

I grit my teeth. He’s lucky he’s been such a good friend to Echo.

Although he has a point. I’m starting at a disadvantage. But I’ve never let that affect me on the ice, and I won’t let it affect me now. Echo will be mine again, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

“First, I need her to get comfortable with seeing me around,” I tell him. “I’m in one of her classes, so she can’t avoid me completely.”

“Unless she decides to skip class,” he points out.

I shake my head. “She’s not that kind of girl.”

To my surprise, he laughs. “You’re probably right. She won’t risk missing anything important, and even if she was willing to risk it, she might turn up just to prove she’s not afraid of you.”

I like the idea of that—it’s something the Echo I used to know would do—but I get the feeling she is afraid of me now. Or, if not afraid, then at least apprehensive about being near me.

Is it purely because of how I hurt her, or is there more to it than that?

“I hope I can convince her to talk to me, at least in passing,” I continue, deciding to focus on my plan. I can mull over her potential fear of me later. “I know that might not work though.”

“Yeah, she can be pretty stubborn,” Ryan says. “I’d have a backup plan, if I were you.”

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