Page 46 of All Your Pucking Secrets

If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was legitimately concerned.

Maybe he is.

Maybe everything he’s said since he reappeared in my life is true. But I can’t think about that now. Not with all of the hormones coursing through my body courtesy of my first orgasm since our breakup.

I need distance. Perspective.

“Um, thank you.” I sound as awkward as I feel. “I have to go. There’s someone knocking on my door.”

“Right.” His disappointment is clear, as is the fact he knows I’m lying.

“I appreciate you, uh—”

“You’re welcome,” he says briskly. “I hope it helped. If you want support while you try anything else from the box, remember that I meant what I said. You can call me any time.”

“Thank you,” I repeat.

If I know what’s good for me, I’ll block his number as soon as we end the call. Somehow though, I don’t see that happening.

“By the way, the dildo is the same size as my cock—or at least as close as I could find—so I know you can take it. That is, if it’s something you’d like to work up to.”

My jaw drops, but before I can respond, the line cuts out. He’s hung up.

12

THE PAST

TYLER

Anticipation thrums in the enclosed cab of my Chevy. I glance toward the hotel’s entrance. As soon as we pass through those doors, our relationship will change.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask Echo, who’s sitting beside me.

She turns toward me and smiles, her hazel eyes heartbreakingly trusting. When she looks at me this way, I’d do anything to not let her down.

“We’ve been dating for a while now.” She reaches across the space between us and takes my hand. “I’m ready for the next step with you.”

I hope she means it. I’ve never worried about sex before, but when it comes to her, I’m terrified of screwing up and making it so that she never wants to touch me again. Echo isn’t like the other girls I’ve been with. Our relationship is more than the casual fun I’ve shared with my former hookups. I just pray she realizes that.

I squeeze her hand. “I wish I could give you my first time.”

Her smile softens. “I don’t need to be your first.”

She nibbles her lower lip to bite back the rest of her thought, but I can read it on her face anyway. She may not be my first, but she hopes she’s my last.

I want that, too.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper, and run my hand over my hair. God, I’m a mess. “I always made fun of my friends if they said they wanted to hold out for something special, but now I regret not doing the same.”

“Hey.” Echo leans over and kisses me. Our lips touch and linger, but the kiss remains chaste. “Tonight will be special because it’s our first time. No one else matters, okay?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. My heart is hammering, and emotion clogs my throat.

“You’re important to me,” I tell her. “I feel like shit for not dating you publicly.”

I want to. I’d like to announce to everyone at school that she’s mine and be able to kiss her when I see her in the corridors, but the news would get back to Dad at lightning speed and his retaliation would be brutal.

If I knew for sure he’d only take his anger out on me, then perhaps I’d risk it, but I don’t want to put Mom or Soraya—or even Echo herself—in the line of fire.

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