Page 30 of All Your Pucking Secrets

ECHO

My chest feels like it’s been scraped open. My heart is a raw, bleeding mess as I stare at Tyler. Even years later, the memory of seeing him with Whitney festers like an unclean scab.

“I—”

Before he can finish the sentence, Jin rolls up, a friendly smile in place.

“You beat me here,” he says, coming to a stop in front of us. “Do we have a table?”

I nod and jerk my thumb toward the table I claimed earlier. “Over there.”

Jin’s forehead creases. He glances from me to Tyler and back again. “What’s with all the tension?”

I silently will Tyler not to overshare. So far, he seems not to have any compunction about letting everyone know what he wants from me. It’s so different from the way we used to hide our relationship with polite smiles and feigned indifference that I don’t know how to react.

Tyler’s eyes, which have always reminded me of ice—so pale and cool—search mine. “We were having a heated discussion about the ethics of operant conditioning on an unknowing subject,” he says.

Even as relief flows through me, I gape at him, stunned by the words that came out of his mouth. He must have been paying better attention in class than I’d thought.

“Oh.” Jin seems to accept this at face value. “Personally, I don’t think it’s ethical, but there can be circumstances in which it might be the best approach regardless of its questionable ethical standing.”

“Agreed,” Tyler says quickly, waiting until Jin is facing away before he mouths, “This isn’t over.”

I ignore him, hating the little flash of excitement in my gut. I shouldn’t want him to fight for me. There’s nothing to fight for. We were broken a long time ago. Yet part of me can’t help being drawn to him, even if I can’t afford to indulge that secret desire.

“There’s Elle.” Jin waves to the final member of our group, who’s appeared in the doorway.

Elle’s gaze skims over Jin and she gives a half-hearted wave. She barely acknowledges my presence and aims the full wattage of her porcelain-pink smile at Tyler, who shifts from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

I sip my mocha, enjoying the chocolatey flavor, even if the sweetness of the caramel syrup I usually add is absent. Considering Tyler and I only ever drank coffee from his parent’s coffee maker, he made a solid effort of guessing what I might want.

“I’m looking forward to seeing your first game,” Elle says, obviously hoping to entice Tyler into conversation.

He just grunts.

It’s ridiculous. I can’t make the guy stop talking and leave me alone, no matter how much I want to, and meanwhile, she can’t convince him to string two words together. Honestly, if I weren’t determined to hate him, it would be flattering.

“Shall we sit down?” Jin suggests.

I pass him my coffee. “Can you bring this over for me? I need to use the ladies’ room.”

“No problem.” He flashes me a grin and saunters to the table.

Elle waits, determined to walk over with Tyler. After giving me a pained look, he obliges. I release a shuddering breath and haul air into my lungs.

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Everything is going to be all right.

“Hey, um.”

A light touch lingers on my forearm. When I turn, the girl I spoke to earlier is standing beside me.

“So, I’m sorry. I obviously got it wrong before,” she says. “I heard a little of what you said to him, and I get the feeling he’s not your boyfriend.”

I cross my arms and her hand falls to her side. “No. He’s not.”

She comes closer, moving into my personal space. “Do you need any help with him? It kinda sounded like he’s causing you problems.”

My eyes fly up to hers, caught off guard. Her irises are so dark they’re nearly black, but sincerity glitters from their depths. I swallow, taking a moment to compose myself. I consider her offer for all of one second and then dismiss it. I don’t want to rehash our whole sorry story with a stranger. Even my friends don’t know what happened.

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