Page 19 of The Veteran

I refrained from rolling my eyes. “You won’t. I’m former special forces. Go on, try anything you like.”

She surveyed me cautiously, as though worried I might be setting up a trap. In a way, I was. But I wouldn’t hurt her. I just wanted to make sure she knew what she might be up against.

“I’ll act as if I’m going to grab you, and you respond.” I moved toward her, reaching for her arm. She seemed to freeze for a moment, but as soon as my fingers looped around her forearm, she broke my hold in a well-practiced move and simultaneously thrust a palm strike at my nose. I dodged the strike, but she was already going on the offensive, grabbing my shoulder to get leverage so she could slam her knee into my gut. The motions were so fluid that I knew they’d been drilled in through hours of training. She stopped short of kneeing me and met my eyes in a silent challenge. I grinned. My wild child was full of surprises.

“Good work,” I said. She was better than I’d expected. Nowhere near as good as me, but she might be able to hold her own against a standard thug. “What if I do this?”

I came at her again, and again, she defended herself. My smile grew. This was going to be fun.

An hour later, we both sunk to the floor, side by side against the sofa, breathing heavily.

“You’re more skilled than I thought you’d be,” I admitted, enjoying the press of her thigh against mine.

“I know.” She glanced at me, and when I caught her gaze, I could see that she’d known exactly what I’d thought. “I’ve worked hard to be able to protect myself.” She broke eye contact and leaned back, closing her eyes. I’d noticed she did that sometimes when she was feeling emotional. As though not being able to see me while we spoke would lessen the impact. “I should have started much earlier—probably after the trial—but I thought I was out of danger. Then, last year, we had those guys break into our apartment.” Her throat moved as she swallowed. “They’d been told not to harm Willow, but they didn’t have any qualms about hurting me. If Willow hadn’t put herself between us, I think one of them might have raped me. I joined a krav maga class as soon as I could after that. I never want to feel so helpless again.”

I slipped an arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head. “I hate that you were in that situation, but it’s really admirable how far you’ve come.”

“Thanks.” She turned to face me, and our noses brushed. Her breath whispered over my lips, and a shudder tore through me. I wanted to taste her. To claim that pretty pink mouth and show her just how much I admired her with my body. Her eyes darkened, and her lips parted. We drew closer, as if drawn by invisible forces, but just before our lips could touch, she pulled away.

“No.” She placed a palm against my shoulder and pushed. Her eyelashes fluttered, and I got the feeling she was having as much difficulty composing herself as I was. “No kissing.” Her voice was husky. “Not unless you explain why I didn’t hear from you after the last time we kissed.”

My heart sunk. She wanted an explanation. Of course she did. I’d kissed her like she meant everything to me and then tried to distance myself. She deserved to know the truth. I thought even more of her for asking for it, but that didn’t make what I needed to say any easier.

8

SAGE

I didn’t expect him to actually answer my question, but to my surprise, he looked like he might. He shifted away and sat opposite me so we could see each other properly.

“I guess you deserve that,” he said.

I gave him time to gather his thoughts.

“Here’s the thing.” He held my gaze for a moment, then lowered his eyes. “I think you’re incredible. You’re a good person, and I’m… not. That’s why I stayed away last time. I realized once we were apart that you’d be better off without me.”

I frowned. “I respectfully disagree. In my experience, you’re a kind, honorable person.”

He made a sound of disagreement. “I’ve done some things in the past that I’m not proud of. Things that make me unworthy of someone as gentle and warmhearted as you.”

For a moment, I felt flustered by his assessment, but then the rest of what he’d said sunk in.

“Shouldn’t it be up to me whether I think you’re worthy of being with me?” I asked, a bubble of irritation forming in my chest. It had been a long time since I’d allowed myself to be interested in a man—after Guy had abandoned me, I’d kept them at a distance—so his inexplicable reticence frustrated me. I drew in a slow breath and released it. “What have you done that’s weighing on you? If you tell me, I can decide for myself how bad it is.”

His face flushed, and he ducked his head, obviously embarrassed. “Trust me, there are some things you’re better off not knowing.”

I reached across the space between us and rested my hand on his. “This is a judgment-free zone.”

He rubbed his lips together and raised his eyes again. They were dark and unreadable. “Maybe for you, but I judge me. I know you want answers, and that’s fair enough, but beyond what I’ve already said, I can’t give them to you.”

“Can’t, or won’t?” I asked curiously. “Like, is it classified?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not classified. Just messy.”

“Okay.” I left my hand on his for another few seconds, so he’d know I wasn’t rejecting him because of his decision not to open up. “It’s your call not to tell me, and I respect that. But in my opinion, relationships need to be built on trust, and if we don’t have that then there’s no point in taking this further.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be here if you change your mind. Any time.”

“Thanks.” He scrambled to his feet, away from me. “It’s good to know where we stand.”

I felt a prickle of regret as he sauntered out the back door, but I knew it was for the best. My heart had always been soft, and I needed clear boundaries or I ended up getting hurt. Besides, if we started a relationship, he might be distracted from his job, and even more likely to put himself on the line for me.

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