Page 11 of Love Off Script

Caz was opposite me in many ways, but she also seemed like a kindred spirit in others. She was bold but reserved. It was a weird combination, but it worked for her, and I hoped I could learn to be more like that. I didn’t want to be exactly like her because my personality wouldn’t allow me to be that firm, but if I could get a smidgen of her confidence, I would be happy.

Caz: I know most of the basic stuff about you, but what exactly are you looking for in someone else?

Sometimes, our conversation felt like a questionnaire for a dating app, but during our casual chat, it felt like a real friendship could form. But I was still keeping my guard up because this was a job for her, and I didn’t know if she felt the same vibe I did.

Me: I don’t have a type.

That wasn’t technically a lie. I definitely had someone in mind who was the epitome of perfection in my eyes.

Caz: That’s bullshit. Everyone has something they want. Even if it’s not looks, something attracts you to another person. If you won’t tell me, I can’t help you. I don’t care if it’s some weird fetish. This is a no-judgment zone.

It was that directness that I wished would rub off on me.

Me: I don’t have a weird fetish. I like who I like.

Caz: Okay. So who is that? I’m going to be honest. The only thing I know about men is how to repel them. So I might not be very helpful to you.

It took me a minute to realize what she thought.

Me: What gave you the impression I was after a man?

My style was pretty basic, which didn’t show my queer tendencies, but I figured she would have picked up on that. I could tell right off which team she preferred to bat for.

Caz: So you’re after a woman? That will make my job much easier. I know how to speak tongues. She put the winky eye emoji face with its tongue out.

It reminded me of Sonya. Only when Caz did it I laughed instead of rolling my eyes.

Me: I just want to talk—no tongue necessary.

Caz: Girl, tongue is ALWAYS necessary. But I get it. You take things slow, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I liked how she could be funny but also serious. She seemed to understand me and didn’t make me feel stupid for the way I was. Sometimes, Sonya made fun of me for being reserved. And that was another reason I kept things to myself. I didn’t like to be the butt of jokes all the time.

Me: So, basically, there’s this girl I have my eye on, but I haven’t had an actual conversation with her. Could you help me figure out how to talk to her?

That might have been a challenging task since I wasn't sure if someone could teach social skills. However, Caz's poised and assured demeanor made me hopeful that she could offer me useful opening lines.

Caz: Let’s meet tomorrow, and you can give me more info on this bird. It’s getting late, and my bed is calling me.

I checked the time and realized it was after midnight. This wasn’t like me. I usually stuck to my schedule, which was in bed by 10:00 p.m. But what was ironic was that I wasn’t even tired. I could have talked to her longer if she hadn’t said anything. The conversation flowed, and, for the most part, I was having fun.

Me: Okay. I’ll text you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

Caz: G’night.

After ending the conversation with Caz, I checked my phone to see I had a string of messages from Sonya. I didn’t want to read through them all, so I fired off a quick response, telling her I would talk to her later. But before I even crawled into bed, my phone rang.

“Hello?” I knew it was her without even checking.

“What the fuck? Why did you ghost me? I’ve been trying to talk to you all night.” Sonya sounded annoyed, but if the shoe was on the other foot and she was busy, she wouldn’t have stopped to message me, either.

“I didn’t ghost you. I just had things to do.” I tried to keep the petulance out of my voice.

“What things? And why are you still awake? Wasn’t your bedtime hours ago?”

I ignored the first part of her questions because she would want a play-by-play of everything Caz and I talked about, and I didn’t have that energy right now.

“It is past my bedtime, and that’s why I’m trying to get to sleep. But you called so…” Hopefully, that would guilt her into letting me go.

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