Page 103 of Fake

I stare so long, weighing everything she says against my bullshit meter, that Mina starts to fidget. It’s endearing. And heartbreaking.

“So anyway, I guess I’ll just get to the hard part. I don’t think we should see each other until I’m financially stable. So you can trust I’m with you for you and not what I can get from you.”

“You don’t want to see me anymore?”

Mina sags, eyes sliding closed, brows drawing tight. When she meets my gaze again, it looks like her heart is breaking. “I think we need to take a break so we can unravel what was real and what was fake.”

“I don’t want to take a break.”

“I don’t either, but I think you and me, us together, I think it could be special. There’s a chance for it to be as real and true and as beautiful as it felt, but if you can’t trust me, we’ll never get there. The only way I can think to do this is to show you I can stand on my own two feet. To be strong separately so we can be even stronger together.”

“I don’t want to take a break.” I cross my arms and shake my head, frustrated enough to repeat myself.

“Then tell me how to fix this!” Mina cries. “Because going a whole weekend without talking is a lot. Yes, I messed up, but if I can’t even have a conversation with you to apologize, what does that mean? I’ve been going crazy, beating myself up, wondering what you’re thinking, missing you like…like I don’t know how to breathe when you’re not around, but it’s just been silence on your end. How long am I supposed to be okay with that before you’re just as much the asshole as I am? What do you need, Nathan? Just tell me what you need!”

“If I knew what I needed I would have done it!” I bark, then consciously lower my voice. “I’m juggling a lot. Nick. You. Fallon fucking Mae in your bedroom.” I close my eyes against that particular image. “My family is furious with me. Angela won’t talk to me. Micah basically told me to fuck off. My parents are more disappointed than ever. The whole crew loves you as much as I do and then some stranger on the internet says it’s fake…” I close my eyes and grit my teeth and clench my fists because everything I feel for Mina is real. How dare Fallon Mae say otherwise? “Or it started out fake and then it wasn’t,” I say, opening my eyes with a sigh. “I don’t know, Mina. I just don’t know.”

Mina’s shoulders slump and she releases a long, slow breath. “Which is why I think it’s best if I remove myself from the equation for a bit. Just until we do know.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I’m sorry I’m human and imperfect and I don’t always know what to do or say.” I throw up my hands then let them drop to my lap. “A week ago, I was so happy…”

Mina stands, fighting tears. “I was too. And this isn’t goodbye forever. Just…for now. Until we know.”

Until we know.

Whatever the fuck that means.

Part of me dies at the thought of goodbye, but if this is what she thinks is best…

“A little distance might be a good thing.”

Mina nods. Frowns. Blows a short puff of breath past her lips. “Okay, then. I guess that’s it, then. Goodbye, Sweet Prince,” she whispers, one hand on the doorframe.

The nickname is a blast of regret, nostalgia, fondness, all tangled in an impenetrable knot in my stomach.

I sit back in my chair and scrub my hand over my mouth as she turns and walks away. “Goodbye, Mina,” I mumble, then slam my laptop shut with a growl.

FORTY-FOUR

Mina

I hold it together long enough to navigate the halls of the Reversal of Fortune Foundation, but as the front doors whoosh shut behind me, tears roll down my face. By the time I’m safely seated in my Honda, I’m hiccupping back sobs, my forehead leaning on the steering wheel as the Florida heat swelters out the open door. Walking out of Nathan’s office, unsure as to whether I’ll see him again, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

But it was the right choice.

If he can’t trust me, our relationship has no foundation and I’m not in the market for what Mom had with Dad. A lack of trust leads to bitterness, resentment, and decay.

I don’t want to live like that.

I’m worth the real deal and so is Nathan.

If I have to walk away now so we can be better later, so be it.

I slam my hand against the steering wheel and silently scream until white-hot rage gives way to icy sorrow. I breathe through it, giving myself space to feel whatever comes up. When the tears stop, I take a few deep breaths, then angle the rearview to wipe my red-rimmed eyes.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I say to the woman in the mirror. “You’re no stranger to hard work. You’ll keep the job at The Depot until Bancroft and Blake starts earning money. It’ll be tight and your days will be long, but you know how to do that. You’ve done it before. You’re strong. You’re capable. It’s just one foot in front of the other for a little longer.”

But what if Nathan never comes back? she asks, not at all concerned about money or long hours.

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