Page 72 of Fire

“I’m saying it’s a complicated situation and you’re taking responsibility for all of it. You’re trying to solve all the problems and maybe you should just slow down and enjoy the fact that she’s back with you. That you’re lucky enough for her to love you. And, if that means she needs time and space to figure her life out, you should back off and let her.”

I don’t want to back off. I don’t want to lose her again. I wouldn’t survive that.

Some of what he’s saying sounds right, but the rest? I don’t know. It doesn’t work for me. Am I really supposed to just let Ivy go, knowing she’ll struggle? Does he really expect me to let her slip out of my life when it nearly killed me to lose her the first time?

For fuck’s sake, why is this so hard?

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Ivy

I stand in front of my closet with Nell, looking at the handful of clothes I brought with me from Seattle. It isn’t much, especially when it comes to dressing up, and the stuff Julian said he’d ship back has yet to arrive. He probably sent the text to get an emotional response out of me and has no intention of sending my things, especially after I didn’t take the bait.

Whatever. I’m so tired of him taking up space in my head. Especially now, when everything in my life is starting to come together.

“I want to look casual, but nice, you know?” I say to Nell, who nods like she understands my conundrum. “I haven’t seen these people in a long time and want to make a good impression.”

Micah’s cousin Nick is home on leave from a tour of duty overseas, so the entire Hutton clan is getting together to celebrate. Micah declared it the perfect opportunity to introduce Nell to his family, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing them all again, right until I opened my closet. I gnaw on my lip as I flip through the options.

“That dress always looks pretty on you. The white one. With the floof and ruffles.” Nell taps the sundress I wore the day I met Micah at The Pact. I’d been so nervous to see him, so sure he’d be angry and difficult. Since then, he’s proven himself to be Julian’s opposite in every way.

“I can’t believe you suggested a dress.” I pull it out and hold it against my body, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I’ve put on a little weight since I’ve been in the Keys. Julian would forbid me to wear white until I didn’t “look like I spackled the dress on,” but Micah seems to like me a little curvier.

Nell leans against the wall, crossing her arms and shrugging just like her father. “Just because I don’t like dresses doesn’t mean you can’t like dresses.”

“Wise advice from someone who just lost her first tooth,” I say, smiling through the mirror.

“Daddy said that it’s good for people to be different because it would get boring if everyone in the whole wide world was the same.”

I pause, shocked to hear her call Micah Daddy and heartbroken he wasn’t around when she did. “He’s full of good advice, isn’t he?”

“And bad words.” Nell giggles. “He’s full to the brim with those.”

We get dressed, me in my white dress and Nell in a pair of shorts, Converse, and her favorite oversized superhero hoodie. I do our hair—curls for me and a high ponytail for her—and am painting my nails with Nell curled up on the bed reading a comic book when Micah knocks at the door. He takes one look at me and his eyes light up.

“Wow,” he whispers, before turning to Nell. “I’m sorry to barge in, but I found these at the store, and I know you’re not into girly stuff, but I thought you might be willing to make an exception. Whadaya say, LG? Pretty cool, right?” He holds out a package with hope lifting one side of his mouth.

I instantly go on alert as Nell frowns. Julian tried to force her into feminine choices. He brought home dresses and bows and pink everything, then made a stink when she didn’t act excited.

That hasn’t been Micah’s way, but my guard is up all the same.

“Mom likes girly stuff,” Nell says, looking disappointed and trying to diffuse the situation by shifting the attention to me. I hate that she’s only six and already has tactics like that in her arsenal.

“I don’t know. These might not be girly enough for Mom.” Micah holds out a pack of nail stickers and I grimace. Nell has never been big on those, no matter the color.

Nell dutifully studies the package and I kid you not, her entire face lights up. “Oh woah! These are so cool!” She leaps off the bed and into his arms. “Thank you, Daddy! Thank you!”

“Anything for my girl,” he replies, his voice thick as he holds her tight.

“Is anyone gonna let me see?” I ask. “I need to know what kind of miracle nail stickers have you so excited.”

Nell wiggles out of Micah’s embrace and thrusts the package into my hands. “They’re comic book ones. Look!”

Each sticker has a different comic book word on them. “Kapow!” for her thumb. “Wham!” for her pinky. They’re bright and fun and so perfectly Nell, I hate myself a little for listening to my father when it came to Micah. She’s come to life since she’s met him. She’s happier since she met him. More confident. More relaxed.

Just like me.

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